Top 10 Jobs For Lazy People
Suggested by SMSHaving a job can really cramp your style. In addition to seriously messing with your sleep schedule and preventing you from watching good daytime t.v., it imposes responsibilities on you and requires you to live up to them. Sure, this is great if you’re a real go-getter, but what about those of us who would rather loll around in bed all day and move as little as possible? Shouldn’t there be jobs out there for us, too? In this vein, the Top Ten Jobs for Lazy People are:
10. Crossing Guard
When it comes to jobs for lazy people, you have to love a career that only requires you to work twice a day for 45 minutes to an hour at a time. Sure, crossing guards have to get up early and work in inclimate weather, but we suspect that they also go back to bed immediately thereafter. Additionally, as you only need one hand to hold up the “stop” sign, you can use the other hand to hold your coffee. The only real requirement for this job is that you arrive on time and that you are able to identify a situation in which a car might slam into/run over a child. If you can manage to hold your “stop” sign up in the face of such danger, crossing guard might be the career for you.
9. Celebrity Blogger
Sleep all day and hit the clubs at night with your camera in an effort to catch celebrities at their worst. Or don’t. You can also remain in your pajamas all day and night, simply waiting for others to send you photos and gossip to include on your blog. Since lazy people generally don’t like to get dressed and do like to spend all day lolling around online, celebrity blogger is the perfect career for those of us who are indignant that people have such high expectations of us: such as expecting us to get out of bed each day and take showers.
8. Secret Shopper
It’s hard to believe that people get paid to do something they we probably planning to do anyway, but this seems to be the racket secret shoppers have managed to set up for themselves. Check your email a few times a week to get your shopping instructions and hit the mall at your leisure. With someone else’s money. Afterwards, fill out an online survey about your shopping experience, sit back, and wait for the money to roll in.
7. Librarian
We realize that library science is an actual area of study that people earn degrees in, and that most libraries require their employees to have degrees in library science. Presumably, librarians know all kinds of things about the Dewey Decimal System and organizing information that the rest of us don’t. That doesn’t change the fact that, every time we go to a library, we see the librarians engaged in one of two tasks: looking bored behind the circulation desk while they check out books, or reading to groups of small children at story time. Both tasks can be easily done while sitting down and without moving around much. Any job that doesn’t require you to stand, and provides you with a chair with wheels to help you avoid standing, is recommended for lazy people.
6. Gold Digger
We have a lot of respect for gold diggers. Gold digging, after all, can be a lot of work. You’re appearance is important, so that means endless hours at the salon and health club, as it’s difficult to dig for gold successfully with bad skin and cellulite on your thighs. Then there are the countless hours spent actually gold digging: pretending to be interested while a homely man, twice your age, tells you all about his business, his role at the local Elks Lodge, his bratty grandchildren. But once you’ve gotten past all that and successfully bagged an elderly millionaire, you’re in for a life of luxury. Go to bed early, sleep late, completely let yourself go. After all, you’re bound to come out of the divorce far better than you went into the marriage.
5. Babysitter
When we say that babysitter is a great job for a lazy person, we don’t mean that nanny, au pair, or day care worker are good jobs for lazy people. Those jobs are the OPPOSITE of good for lazy people, as they involved a lot of chasing small people around and, presumably, a daily budget for painkillers. By “babysitter,” we mean just that: the kind of babysitting where you go into someone’s house while the parents are out to dinner and watch their children for three to four hours until they come home. First, you can sleep late, as most people don’t want the babysitter to show up at least dinnertime. Additionally, if you can swing a job babysitting for very young children who go to bed early, you might be able to go the entire evening without actually seeing the children. Either way, once the children are off to bed a very early hour, you have the rest of the night free to watch t.v., talk to friends on your cell phone, and cruise around on the internet.
4. Video Game Tester
If you’re going to sit around in your underwear playing videogames all day, you might as well get paid for it. Rumor has it that a select few lazybones who live EXTREMELY charmed lives have managed to figure out a way to get paid for playing video games all day. No one knows how one sets oneself up on such a career path, other than by the grace of God. If you find out, please let us know.
3. Plasma/Sperm/Egg/Blood Donor
It’s hard to find a job that requires less work than simply being alive, but that’s really all you have to do if you want to be one of many Americans raking in the dough by donating body parts and bodily fluids to those who really need them. Not only does this career allow you to avoid work hours, deadlines, and co-workers, but the companies that harvest your precious body fluid will actually insist that you take some time off in between donations.
2. Lifeguard
Work on your tan all summer long, without having to do much of anything other than sit in a large chair, occasionally blow a whistle, and remind children to stop running every once in a while. There’s a reason why lifeguard is one of the most coveted jobs of all time. “Baywatch” drama aside, have you ever seen a live guard spring into action in real life? Probably not, especially if you can manage to get a lifeguard job at a local pool rather than an actual beach. Rather, this job consists largely of applying sunscreen to your nose, flirting with the opposite sex, and, in some cases, being in charge of the DVD collection at the pool.
1. Beer Taster
It sounds like a job forged in the depths of Homer Simpson’s dreams, but, believe it or not, there are people who are actually paid to taste beer. All day long. Most work in breweries or bottling plants under the moniker “quality control specialist,” because simply calling themselves a “beer taster” would undoubtedly earn the wrath of their friends, family, and co-workers, leaving them alone and miserable. If there’s a greater job on the planet than showing up for work each day, drinking beer until the 5:00 whistle blows, and then returning home, we don’t know what it is.
being a lifeguard may seem like an easy job but just sitting on a chair watching people swim isnt all we have to do. many pools offer swim lessons. this job isnt ment for anyone. you have to have excellent customer service skills and be prepared to basically give up your summer. to you become a lifeguard you have to be certified also and that means you have to pass physical and written tests. so its not a job where you can just sign up and get hired. being in the sun all day may sound fun but you get pretty drained being in the direct sun 6 hours a day, 6 days a week, and four months straight.
I can attest to what alice is talking about. Lifeguards do have to go through rigorous training to get certified and hired. I watched the lifeguards train and it is really physical, you must be in good shape to pass the physical exam. i think aside from the lifeguard the rest of the list is pretty good.
Ah I am the queen of the lazy jobs! Lets see, blogger, been there, done that. Still do. Easy cash. Mystery Shopper, been there, done that. (Let me tell you, you don’t make enough money and you spend it all getting the calluses off your feet and curing your carpal tunnel). Babysitter, haven’t done it in years but yeah I loved those gigs where the kids were in bed when I got there and didn’t wake up while I was there. Nice! Librarian, wow that was a tough job, my problem was I wanted to sit down and read all the books, but it was a sweet gig! Other lazy jobs I’ve had, transcribing tv video tapes of shows for HGTV, dead simple! Watch a VHS tape of people ripping down their house, type what they say while they do it, better yet, get the job transcribing the B-Roll, all you had to do was describe what was in the frame. I could do that and watch soaps at the same time (neither required much work). Posting and selling stuff on Craig’s LIst, another easy job! Hardest part was scanning the photos! Oh and collecting the cash! Crossing guard, never did it but I woulnd’t want to, don’t like standing in the rain and snow!
I've been life guarding for two summers as of right now. Let me tell all of those whom may be reading this… It says for the job description:
"Work on your tan all summer long, without having to do much of anything other than sit in a large chair, occasionally blow a whistle, and remind children to stop running every once in a while."
That is FALSE. From the eyes of somebody who is pretty experienced with the life guard life, they want to make it sound like its laid back. I get in trouble if I miss things such as kids running or people jumping off the ledge of the pool. I've already done a few mediocre saves where you jump in and save somebody from drowning.. so you have to constantly keep your attention on ALL the people in the water, which can really sky rocket on hot days.
Thanks for the ideas. Geez I'm soooo tired now that I'm in my fifties. I've gotten by with some easy jobs in the past but you gave me some more ideas.
Nice article
To be a Public Librarian, you actually need a Master's degree. That's six years of higher education. It's now a very competitive field and you spend a lot your time public speaking, doing outreach with other organizations and basically busting your butt to promote the library. Those story times are well planned and based on Early Literacy Education factors. Not a lazy gig by any means. Academic librarians often have two Master's degrees and teach college classes. Everyone who works at the library is not a librarian. The librarian who is sitting at the reference desk "looking bored" is waiting for you to ask them a reference question and will probably only be there an hour or two before going back to their work desks. This is not a job for lazy people.
Obviously, the real 'lazy person job' is writing speculative articles like this, without bothering to find out what the lives being 'described' are REALLY like! =D
Write down what are probably the most very important issues to you in an ideal job. Yes, a company maserati and unlimited expense account would be nice, but also consider: How vital are issues like flexibility; creativity; working environment etc? Do you like working in a team or are you far more of an independent operator? How do you really feel about managing staff and taking the lead? Do you fancy a job that challenges you or one that you are able to do quickly? The clearer you are about what you want, the much more likely you are going to get it.
Now I have done a couple of these jobs, and they aren’t really that lazy. BUT, the only reason people have jobs is because they need money. And they need money why? Oh, to eat, pay bills, clothe themselves, shelter themselves, and pay for the expenses of going to work. What if you just went to the end of the Appalacian Trail and hiked it for 4 months? They don’t work, just walk. Some of them do it all the time.
I’m a lifeguard and have been for five years … and I’ve got to say it’s the EASIEST job ever…even if you are teaching swimming lessons.
easiest job ever is non,t listed the job of being gainfully without a real job getting that check with the very least effert direct deposit for almost 2years the skill is to non,t get upset that you do something to get fired me i refused to something illegal i,m doing stuff like wearing my pj,s for days drinking all times of the day i,m trying out this lazy lifestlye and thought it was non,t me but i,m enjoying it taking a vacation a home
What about being a security guard? you just walk around once an hour, sit watching camaras of even TV. Pay is as good as 90% of the job base nowadays.
Then you could be US president. All that you must be good at is BSing, and telling outright lies.
[…] Top 10 Jobs For Lazy People – Akorra – When it comes to jobs for lazy people, … Serial killers are just like everybody else when they’re not murdering innocent people. They have to work for a living. Even a bloodthirsty maniac needs to put food on the table and pay the rent or the mortgage. […]