These attorneys have proven themselves with excellent track records in the defense of white collar crimes, complicated litigation cases, challenging Federal and State laws and service to their communities. Criminal defense is a tough and complicated area of law to practice. It takes drive, determination and an unfaltering desire to win, to successfully practice criminal defense law. Each one of these attorneys has fought for their clients and shown time and again that they are tenacious and tireless defenders of their client’s right to a fair trial and successful judgment.

Let’s face it, the majority of the population is filled with people who should be spending time in jail. Or who’re completely innocent of the crimes they’ve been accused of, though those cases are boring and full of ‘do the right thing’ feel good moments. So for the purpose of this article, we’ll assume that EVERYONE is guilty (even if you’re not). It’s called discrimination, I don’t know what type. Look it up. You may be able to sue me for it. Anyway, when you eventually find yourself in need of a defense lawyer, why not choose from the cream of the crop. These are the top 10 badass defense lawyers for 2010.

10. Charles Lembcke

of the Charles B. Lembcke, PA firm in Jacksonville, FL. This is the second year in a row that Lembcke has found a place on the The United States Lawyer Rankings Top 10 List. Lembcke is pretty popular in terms of white collar crimes as well as complex civil litigation cases in federal and state courts. If you aren’t sure what white collar crime is, then think Martha Stuart crimes versus Larry the Cable Guy crimes. Admitted to the Florida Bar in 1971, he received his degree in law from the University of Florida. Mr. Lembcke served in the United States Attorney’s Office in Jacksonville, FL from 1974-1977 and began his private practice in 1977. He started his law office in 2003 and his firm specializes in litigation. Some of their more notable cases dealt with things like McDonald’s Monopoly games, fraud in a Jacksonville beverage company, cocaine trafficking, healthcare fraud, and etc. All of which their clients came out on top.

9.  Robert L. Ullman

a partner at Nutter, McClennan & Fish in Boston, MA specializes in government investigations and white collar defense and litigation. He received his Law Degree from Harvard and apparently, the expensive education paid off because this is the fifth year that Ullman has been featured on the top 10 list. Something to brag about when he goes back for his high-school reunion at least. After ten years with the Justice Department in 1994 he was appointed as Senior Litigation Counsel by Attorney General Janet Reno. He was named among the top 100 Massachusetts Super Lawyers from 2004-2009 (which again gives him mucho bragging rights). Mr. Ullman is a Fellow of the American College of Trail Lawyers, and he also serves on the Nutter Executive Committee.

8. Lawernce Lustberg

of the firm Gibbons Law in Newark, NJ is the Director of the John J. Gibbons Fellowship in Public Interest and Constitutional Law. He is also the Chair of the Criminal Defense Department. He received his Law Degree cum laude from Harvard Law School in 1983. From 1985-1990 he served as an Assistant Public Defender for the District of New Jersey. He is currently an Adjunct Assistant Law Professor at Rutgers University Law School and Seton Hall University Law School. Mr. Lustberg was named one of the Top 100 Super Lawyers in New Jersey for Criminal Defense: White Collar in 2010. He is a Fellow in the American Bar Association. His practice specializations are appellate practice and criminal defense.

7. Jeffery D. Coleman

a partner in the Litigation Department of Jenner & Block in Chicago, IL has been practicing law for 35 years. He received his Law Degree from Stanford Law School in 1973, and was accepted into the Illinois State Bar in 1975. His specialties include civil and criminal litigation and he has represented private citizens and large law firms in a variety of cases involving fraud, class action suits, grand jury investigations, and criminal cases at both the state and federal courts. Currently Mr. Coleman is a member of the team of lawyers in his firm that are representing prisoners at Guantanamo Bay. He is also very involved with many pro bono cases and defending indigent persons. Recently he represented the Governor of Illinois in a voting litigation procedure. He was named one of the Best Lawyers in America for the years 2006-2010, and has several honors for his pro-bono service and has been named an Illinois Super Lawyer since 2005.

6. Thomas Pollack

of the firm Irell & Manella, Los Angeles, CA, received his Law Degree in 1968 from the New York University of Law. He is also a member of the California and New York State Bars. He is a former acting Federal Public Defender for the Central District of California. Mr. Pollack has defended many high profile white collar defendants against the IRS, SEC and FTC. His cases have included successful rulings in a jury trial in defense of a CEO of a motion picture studio on tax evasion and defense from insider trading charges by an agent of a real estate company. Mr. Pollacks’ areas of expertise include white collar crimes, securities litigation and civil and criminal litigation. For the past ten years he has been named a Best Lawyer in America and was included on the Super Lawyers list for Southern California in 2010 by the Los Angels Magazine.

5. James Brosnahan

is a Senior Partner of the Morrison & Foester Law Firm in San Francisco, CA and has been practicing law for over 50 years. He received his Law Degree in 1959 from Harvard’s Law School. He is a member of the Arizona and California State Bar Associations. He uses his experience to receive successful rulings in defense of charges that include competition and antitrust laws, employment laws, product liability, complex commercial litigation and high profile white collar criminal cases. To date he has had over 140 successful verdicts. Mr. Brosnahan has been honored with such accolades as his induction in 2006 into the California’s Trial Lawyers Hall of Fame and in the same year was named by the National Law Journal as one of America’s most influential trial lawyers. Chambers USA has named him a leading lawyer since its inception. Mr. Brosnahan has been included in The Best Lawyers of America list for over 20 years. He’s been involved in many high profile cases, which include the successful defense of the Altera Corportaion, defense of 3M in Breast Implant litigation, the Iran-Contra hearings, defense of John Walker Lindh for terrorism charges and USA vs Elias Psinakis for Interstate transportation of explosives.

4. Stephen L. Braga

a partner of the Ropes & Gray Law Firm in Washington, DC specializes in the areas of civil and criminal litigation cases, which include antitrust, government enforcement, securities enforcement, securities litigation and white collar crime. He received his Law Degree magna cum laude in 1981 from Georgetown University Law Center where he serves as an adjunct professor teaching legal ethics, civil litigation and evidence. Mr. Braga is a Fellow of the American College of Trial Lawyers. His many honors and awards include the Gideon Champion of Justice Award from the New York State Association of Criminal Defense Lawyers; inclusion in The Best Lawyers in America, The Best Lawyers in Washington, Washington D.C. Super Lawyer and the Top Ten Criminal Defense Lawyers. He is a member of the Washington D.C. Bar Association.

3. Stephen C. Cowen

is a partner of the King & Spalding Special Matters and Government Investigations Practice in Atlanta, GA. He received his Law Degree cum laude from Harvard in 1972. He is a member of the State Bar Associations of Florida, Georgia and the District of Columbia. Mr. Cowen served in the Civil Division of the U.S. Attorney’s Office for the District of Columbia from 1976-1979. He spent 1979-1982 as a prosecutor for the U.S. Attorney’s Office for the Middle District of Florida in Tampa. After this he spent three years with the Atlanta US Attorney’s Office as the First Assistant and Chief of the Criminal Division and in 1986 was the court appointed US Attorney General of Atlanta. His areas of expertise include white collar crimes, internal corporate investigations, development of compliance plans, civil litigation and federal securities fraud. The current edition of The Best Lawyers in America and Chambers USA include him as a leading attorney. He has presented to the SEC, Department of Justice and the HHS Office of the Inspector General findings of internal investigations for several of his clients.

2. Eliot Lauer

partner and co-chair of the Litigation Group at Curtis, Mallet-Prevost, Colt & Mosle in New York, NY specializes in the practice areas of commercial litigation and arbitration, commodities, criminal defense and government investigations, intellectual property litigation, internal investigation, international arbitration, professional liability and securities litigation. He has successfully defended his clients against charges of mail and wire fraud, tax fraud, commodities fraud, market manipulation, product liability and other complex litigation in white collar crime. Mr. Lauer is a member of the New York State and District of Columbia Bar Associations as well as the American Bar Association, Federal Bar Council and The Association of the Bar of New York City. He has presented the findings of many investigations for his clients to such entities as the SEC, Department of Justice, National Association of Securities Dealers and other agencies. He is well versed in domestic and international arbitration and mediation representation. Mr. Lauer is AV rated by Martindale-Hubbard.

1. Carol Elder Bruce

And finally, the badass to end all badassess, Carol Elder Bruce. A partner at the Bracewell & Guiliani International Law Firm in Washington, DC, Ms. Bruce specializes in the defense of white collar criminal cases and complex litigations. She has successfully defended her private and corporate clients in cases involving criminal grand jury investigations and congressional investigations. Ms. Bruce received her Law Degree from the Law School at Georgetown University in 1974. She is a member of Bar Association of the Columbia District. As the only woman named in the 2010 edition of the United State’s Lawyer Rankings for the Nation’s Top Criminal Defense Lawyer, Ms. Bruce has several accolades to her name. She is a Fellow in American College of Trial Lawyers, in 2010 she was elected Fellow to the Litigation Counsel of America, she was named a star of National White Collar in Crime Litigation and the star of Columbia District White Collar in Crime Litigation. She was also named in the 2009 Ethisphere Institute’s as one of the best attorneys in Corporate Compliance. For five years, Ms. Bruce has been included in the United State’s Layer Rankings for the Nation’s Top Criminal Defense Lawyers. She was also named the Nation’s Top Commercial Litigation Lawyer from 2006 to 2009. Ms. Bruce has received numerous awards for her achievements which include the 2007 Beacon of Justice Award, The Fredrick Douglas Human Rights Award, The Belva Ann Lockwood Award and in October of 2009 she received the Jacob Burns Award for Extraordinary Service. Ms. Bruce has also received a Martin-Hubble AV Preeminent Peer Review Rating. These awards and honors are just a few of the examples of why Carol Elder Bruce has earned the number one slot for The Top 10 Most Amazing Lawyers of 2010. In the end, she’s sort of like Kate Beckinsale from Underworld, except without all the leather since the angsty vampire look goes against some lawyer code.

10. Saqqara Bird

In 1898 a small bird like figure, known as the Saqqara Bird, was discovered during the excavation Saqqara, Egypt’s Pa-di-lmen tomb. Upon discovery it was hardly considered noteworthy and thrown in a box labeled “wooden bird.” The artifact is dated at 200 BCE.

After the invention of flight in 1903, many years later the bird was rediscovered by an specialist on ancient artifacts, Dr Khalil Messiha. Messiha discerned its characteristics similar of modern airplanes, namely “push-gliders,” with hints of advanced aerodynamics.

The debate is whether or not the Saqqara bird is in fact zoomorphic or potential evidence that the ancients conceived and or exercised modern flight. The idea is supported by additional “flying machines,” also possibly zoomorphic, found in South America dating at 500-800 BCE showing similar aerodynamic qualities

9. Tecaxic-Calixtlahuaca Head

This terra cotta head, originally part of a full statue, was found in 1933in the Toluca Valley among pre-Colombian grave goods. The curiosity the head presents is that it is clearly roman in style and antithetical to the design of popular Mesoamerican artifacts in that epoch.

Thermoluminescence testing of the Tecaxic-Calixtlahuaca head dates it to around 9th century BCE ranging between 13th century CE. Based on the bear and hairstyle of the head, it’s official placement is of Roman origin 2nd century CE.

The artifact is exciting and unusual because it suggests trans-oceanic contact to the New World far before originally speculated, although no other references of this Roman contact to the New World exist in the historical tradition of that area.

8. The Dropa Stones

The Dropa Stones surfaced in 1938 during an archaeological expedition between China and Tibet. Over 700 of these stones, more like disks, were found and carbon dated at approximately 12,000 years old. The disks are 9 inches in diameter, with a spiraling groove from the perfectly round ¾ inch center.

With further investigation the “groove” was identified as a series of almost microscopic writing in the form of characters and hieroglyphics. They sat un-deciphered until 1962, when Dr. Tsum Um Nui claimed to have decoded the writing to tell the tale of our planets first encounter with extra-terrestrials. The story on the stones depicts a crash landing of an alien spacecraft, a fearful encounter with the tribal Hams, and that the two eventually made peace.

Because of the small size of the characters, and at 12,000 years old have gone through considerable wear, the accuracy of this translation is up for debate. The isolated people of that region, interestingly, called the Hams, have unusual small frames, yellowish skin, large heads, and blue eyes a-typical of other people in the area.

7. The Coso Artifact

On February 13, 1961, three gift shop owners searching for geodes in California found an artifact which seemed strangely out of place. Inside a mineral, taking around 500,000 years to form naturally incased perfectly circular porcelain like material with a metal shaft in the center, appearing curiously like a spark plug.

Theories of how the spark plug ended up in the decidedly old lump of clay range from evidence of possibility of advanced Ancient Civilization, a mere natural accident, or something dropped by time travelers from the future. The artifact is, however, unquestionably a spark plug and of very mysterious origin.

6. Fuente Magna

 

Fuente Magna is an elaborately engraved chestnut libation bowl casually found in Bolivia by a country peasant. The artifact was originally considered unimportant until investigations were conducted in 2000. Unusual per its location, the writing on the bowl is unmistakably from the Old World.

Deemed “The Rosetta Stone of the Americas,” the two texts featured on Fuenta Magna are Sumerian Cuneiform and a Semetic text, and alludes to a transitional era in writing from symbol to text. This dates the bowl to 3500 BCE, Sumerian origin. The bowl itself is also follows trends of Mesopotamian artifacts.

The mystery is how the bowl came to be found in Bolivia, and when it came to be at its final resting place. The most popular theory is one of trans-oceanic contact taking place thousands of years before previously conceived.

5. Baghdad Battery

The Baghdad battery, surfacing around 1936 near Iraq, is the title of a series of artifacts of Mesopotamian origin. These artifacts are 5 inch jars including a copper cylinder housing an iron rod.

The presence of iron and copper in conjunction creates an electrochemical couple, and when an electrolyte is added to the mix creates voltage. The addition of any citrus juice or vinegar, for example, will produce an electric charge. Their use is unclear, but commonly associated with electroplating jewelry.

The pots are dated from anywhere between 250 BCE and 224 CE, predating the accepted invention of the electrochemical cell by Alessandro Volta in 1800 by over a thousand years.

4. Kingoodie Hammer

Earning its name from its discovery in 1844 at the Kingoodie Quarry of Scotland, an iron nail (also with what appears to be a wooden handle) is found fixed within a Sandstone block from the Mesozoic Era.

It is, however, highly unlikely for an iron nail to survive oxidation for 400 million years, and no theories are currently suggested for how this anomaly has come to past. Equally puzzling, however, is how this iron nail and wooden hammer found its way so solidly entrenched in a piece of sandstone hundreds of millions of years old.

3. Voynich Manuscript

The Voynich manuscript publicly surfaced in 1912 when it walked into the shop of a Polish-American bookseller, Wilfred Voynich. Around 240 pages of vellum sheets, the Voynich manuscript consists of large illustrations that depict knowledge of botany, astronomy, anatomy, and pharmaceutical sciences, partnered with a completely untranslatable writing. Famous British and American master code breakers of WWII, as well as world-renowned cryptologists still cannot decipher one word of the mysterious script.

The book is dated circa 15th century, and its authorship is also debatable. Guesses range from 13th century polymath and Franciscan friar Roger Bacon to a young Leonardo Di Vinci.

If it were authored by Roger Bacon in the mid 1200’s, there is some exciting evidence of knowledge beyond its years, namely astronomical charts which show galaxies as viewed through telescope and illustrations of live cells as viewed through microscope, both inventions with their first recorded appearance in the 1600s.

2. Mitchell-Hedges Skull

The Mitchell-Hedges crystal skull is the most famous of a collection of crystal skulls discovered between the 1920s-1960s in Mesoamerica, supposedly pre-Columbian in origin with suggested dating at 3,600 years old. The skull is a replica of a human skull made of transparent quartz that was allegedly found by Anna Mitchell-Hedges, daughter of explorer F.A. Mitchell Hedges, under a collapsed Mayan Temple.

While it is highly speculated that this story is truly how the crystal skull was found, mysteries are still abound. When examined by two specialists, art restoration expert Frank Dorland and Hewlett-Packard’s crystal lab, it was confirmed that the skull had been carved from a single piece of quartz rock crystal and carved against the natural grain of the crystal’s axis, something which would be very difficult today even with modern tools and technology. Even with sophisticated tools, crystal cut against the natural axis shatters indefinitely, and Silicone Valley deemed these crystal skulls as physically and technically impossible.

1. Piri Reis Map

In 1513, Ottoman-Turkish cartographer Piri Reis compiled a map of the world on Gazelle skin. According to the cartographer, Piri Reis, he used twenty different maps as reference points to complete his map, ranging from those of Columbus to some of which may have been used in the epoch of Alexander the Great. Despite controversies, the map is generally celebrated for it’s accurate illustration of the South American coastline.

Exciting to mystery lovers, however, is the land mass connected to the South American coast, which many people speculate is a depiction of Antarctica without ice. The large hump is what is believed to be Antarctica’s Queen Maude Land, and the dip next door is the Weddell Sea. Up for interpretation are also various waterways, which seem to match what might be lurking under the ice. The theory here is that an ancient civilization, possibly Atlantis, had survived there and created a map that may have been available in the Library of Alexandria.

10. Dyeing Easter Eggs

Today, kids around the world observe Easter by decorating eggs. The most common approach involves dipping hard-boiled chicken eggs into bowls of dye that have been created using a mixture of food coloring and vinegar. Although eggs have long been associated with springtime and fertility, the practice of decorating eggs to celebrate the resurrection of Jesus Christ is a somewhat puzzling association. Scholars and theologians have offered different takes on the issue. It is said that in medieval times, it was common to observe Easter by giving eggs to one’s servants and household staff. In aristocratic households, these gifted eggs were often decorated with designs rendered in gold leaf. Another explanation comes from the Greek Orthodox tradition, where eggs that are exchanged as gifts are dyed a deep crimson shade to represent the blood of Christ. Others believe that the tradition has its roots in the pagan appreciation of the cycle of life and the remarkably colorful bird eggs that can often be spotted in nests at this time of year.

9. Peeps

Many Easter traditions celebrate the wonders of the natural world, but the traditional exchange of Peeps – a marshmallow confection made in shapes such as chicks and bunnies in bright pastel shades – seems to be more of a celebration of human ingenuity. These so-bad-they’re-good treats are decidedly unnatural – and unnaturally delicious. Dating from 1958, when each confection was handmade in a painstaking 27-hour process, Peeps are manufactured by Bethlehem, Pennsylvania-based Just Born, Inc., which also makes other popular sweet treats such as Hot Tamales, Just Born Jelly Beans, Mike and Ike, and Teenee Beanee gourmet jelly beans. Although Peeps have long been an Easter tradition, the company has recently begun to expand its product offerings, creating Peeps with Halloween and Christmas themes, as well as several new flavor and color varieties. Today, the Just Born facility manufactures more than 1 billion Peeps each year. If you’re interested in taking your love for this Easter delicacy to the next level, check the Internet for Peeps-based art and recipe ideas.

8. The Seder Feast

Seder is the Jewish feast that marks the beginning of Passover, a religious celebration that honors the ancient Israelites’ escape from involuntary servitude in Egypt. In addition to a ritual retelling of the story of the escape from Egypt, the typical Seder feast involves several specific elements that are key to the religious observance. These include drinking four cups of wine, consuming matzos, and passing around a plate of symbolic food items, some of which guests are asked to eat. Maror and chazeret are bitter herbs that evoke the harsh conditions of the Jews’ enslavement. Charoset is a sugary paste that represents the mortar that Jews used in the construction of storehouses and other buildings in ancient Egypt. Karpas is an herb or root vegetable dipped into salt water, which represents the tears of the enslaved Jews. Beitzah is a hard-boiled egg that is a symbol of mourning, while the Z’roa is a roasted piece of meat – usually lamb, goat, or chicken – that represents the Pesach, or sacrifice, offered by enslaved Jews in the temple in Jerusalem and is not typically eaten during the Seder meal. In some areas, Seder traditions are evolving – it was recently reported that a growing number of believers are including a piece of an orange on the Seder plate to symbolize the fruitfulness that comes from the inclusion of marginalized groups.

7. Easter Bonnets

Since ancient times, Christian believers have been gearing up for Easter celebrations by buying or making new clothes. References to this practice have been found in texts dating back to the earliest Easter celebrations, and even a casual glance at newspaper advertisements in the weeks leading up to Easter is enough to reveal that the tradition of putting together a new outfit for Easter is still alive and well today. But in tough economic times, such as the Great Depression that swept the United States in the 1930s, the luxury of an entire outfit for Easter was too much for many families to be able to afford. For some, buying a new hat temporarily replaced the tradition of purchasing or making a new outfit. For others, the practice of embellishing or decorating a hat one already owned for Easter became popular. It is this kind of embellished hat that popular songwriter Irving Berlin immortalized in his 1933 hit, “Easter Parade.” In some countries, the Easter bonnet also serves as a makeshift Easter basket, holding the treats and toys left overnight by the Easter Bunny.

6. Chametz traditions

Although the Seder feast is an important part of the Passover tradition, the ritual cleansing of chametz is another key facet of Passover observance among Jewish believers. According to tradition, when the Israelite slaves were freed from servitude by the proclamation of the Pharaoh, they had to leave the country so quickly that they could not wait for their bread to rise. For that reason, Passover is known as the “Festival of Unleavened Bread” and no leavened bread – or chametz – is consumed during the celebration. Instead, matza, which is flat, cracker-like unleavened bread, is used and plays a central role in several Passover rituals. In preparation for Passover, Jewish families go through several ritual phases of finding and discarding all the foodstuffs in their home that could be classified as chametz. Many Observant families and businesses undertake a thorough bout of spring cleaning to rid the premises of any hint of chametz-containing substances or particles, and some own complete sets of dishes and serving implements for use during Passover that have never come into contact with leavened bread.

5. Easter Baskets

For kids in many countries, there’s nothing like waking up on Easter morning and jumping out of bed to sift through the goodies that have been packed in your very own Easter basket. According to the National Confectioners’ Association, more than 90 million Easter baskets are distributed each year in the United States alone. Chocolates, jelly beans, and other assorted candies are the most popular basket filler, although non-food toys and trinkets have been gaining popularity in recent years, as well. Although there is some debate over the origins of the Easter basket tradition, many scholars believe that it may have originally come from depictions of the ancient pagan goddess of spring, Eostre, who was often depicted carrying a basket of eggs.

4. Recounting the Exodus

The festival of Passover commemorates the period when the ancient Israelites escaped from slavery in Egypt and returned to their homeland. Although there are a number of food-related traditions that are observed during Passover, perhaps the most important part of the celebration is the ritual retelling of the Exodus story. In the Torah’s Book of Exodus, Jews are exhorted to tell their progeny about the enslavement and escape of the ancient Israelites. The act of recounting this story in a ceremony known as Magid forms a key component of the Seder feast, and it is told from a special text known as the Haggadah. The ceremony is meant to be interactive and inclusive, and includes questions and answers, special blessings, discussions, and songs. The story is usually told in both Hebrew and the native language of the majority of the guests attending the feast, according to tradition.

3. Matzo

According to tradition, the ancient Israelites who escaped from servitude in Egypt were forced to leave quickly, and thus were unable to undertake extensive preparations for the long trip home. Among other things, this meant that they could not wait to bake bread according to the usual procedure, which includes a lengthy period during which the dough rises. What they wound up with instead was unleavened bread, or matzo. To commemorate the escape, Passover is known as the “Festival of Unleavened Bread.” Matzo – also known as matza, matzah, matze, and matsah – is the unleavened, flat, cracker-like bread that has come to be most strongly associated with Passover. There are many different varieties of matzo, including a chocolate-covered version that is popular among children, but most Observant Jews select only certain types of matzo for use during the Passover Seder feast. The most popular matzo for Passover is known as shmura matzo; shmura translates literally as ‘guarded’ and refers to the fact that the ingredients used to make the bread have been watched carefully throughout the entire manufacturing process to avoid any fermentation.

2. The Easter Egg Hunt

Like so many other Easter traditions, the Easter egg hunt – now a staple of Easter celebrations in many countries – developed out of a mish-mash of different cultural traditions around the world. Much as the process of egg dyeing mimics the brightly colored bird eggs that are a hallmark of springtime, the Easter egg hunt takes its cues from the natural world, as well, where doting mother birds often carefully tuck their precious eggs away in an attempt to befuddle predators. Some experts point to other holiday hide-and-seek games as possible influences for the Easter egg hunt, including the hiding of a particular Christmas tree ornament or the hiding of the last piece of matzo at Passover celebrations. In earlier times, parents often hid Easter treats in bonnets or grassy “nests” and then set their children loose to find them.

1. The Easter Bunny

Whether you think he’s cute or creepy, the Easter bunny is perhaps the single most important feature of modern Eastern celebrations. However, it wasn’t always that way – according to historians, the Easter bunny is a symbol that only entered popular culture about 300 years ago. The tradition is said to have originated in Germany and then spread around the world as German settlers emigrated. The Osterhase, as the German Easter bunny was known, would reward well-behaved children by laying brightly colored eggs in their hidden bonnets, baskets, or nests. Today, whether you celebrate Easter by chowing down on his chocolate effigy or by trekking to the local mall to sit for portraits with his costumed counterpart, the Easter bunny continues to loom large over modern Easter celebrations.

Ok, so it is true that Queen Elizabeth and the House of Windsor are of German ancestry. Originally, the currently reigning British Royal family was known as the House of Saxe-Coberg and Gotha. King George V (Elizabeth’s grandfather) changed the family name to Windsor in 1917, in line with anti-German sentiments of the time (apparently many English sounding names were considered, including Winters, but the King eventually settled on the name of his favourite residence – Windsor Castle). George V was himself at least one quarter German, his grandfather being Albert of Saxe-Coberg and Gotha, the beloved prince consort of Queen Victoria, from whom the family name is inherited. Of course, there had been German blood in the family much longer than the marriage to Prince Albert. Queen Victoria (George V’s Grandmother) was descended from a long line of German monarchs. In fact, she and Albert were first cousins. Little was done to dilute the gene pool of the Royals in the ensuing generations, keeping the family almost exclusively German. George V might have been born to a Danish mother but he went on to marry a Princess from the Kingdom of Wurttemberg in Germany. Their son, George VI (father of Queen Elizabeth), could therefore be considered to be three quarters German, one quarter Danish. At least he did have the foresight to marry an English girl, or mostly English at least. His wife, Elizabeth Bowes-Lyon (later known as the Queen Mother), was born of a Scottish noble, himself half English, and his English wife.

And Queen Liz herself? Well, all of this is pretty confusing but it basically means that she is three eighths English, three eighths German, one eighth Scottish and one eighth Danish (or there about). This does mean that she is as German as she is English, but she doesn’t have a particularly strong German accent so I think we can forgive her that.

In fact, all things considered, the Queen is pretty English, especially when compared to the many others that have taken the throne. British history has been a long list of foreign Kings and interlopers. Even before the accession of the house of Saxe-Coberg kings of England could rarely be considered English. Set against her predecessors, Queen Elizabeth stands out as one of the most English monarchs of all time.

Iron Age Britain

You have to go back a long time to find a truly English monarch, back to the very different landscape of England before the Roman invasion of Britain. In iron age Britain there was no such thing as the English monarchy, however. The country was divided into tribal communities, each ruled by separate, but very English, native chieftains. But even as the armies of Rome were amassing on the shores of the English Channel, Southern England had already been overtaken by another foreign power – the Belgae. The Belgae were settlers from Belgium. They had been forced out of their homeland by the Romans and begun establishing kingdoms along the South coast of England. Often forgotten by historians, they are evidence that England has been invaded and ruled by foreign powers since time immemorial.

Following the Belgae came the Romans and later the Jutes, Angles, and Saxons – Germanic tribes from which much of the current populous of England are descended. These Germans took advantage of the chaos of post-Roman England, dividing it into a jigsaw of new realms.

Danelaw

By the end of the first century AD there were two Englands; in the West, the Saxon kingdom of Wessex and in the North and East, the Danelaw – ruled by Viking invaders from Scandinavia. The Kings of Wessex, while often considered to be English, were the descendents of Saxons invaders. They fought many wars against the Danes but were unable to unite the realm. It would take the mighty Danish king Sweyn Forkbeard and his son Cnut to do that. Forkbeard was named King of all England in 1013 after forcing the King of Wessex, Ethelred the Unready, into exile. When his son Cnut came to power he ruled over a great North Sea empire. He secured the English throne by having the exiled Ethelred killed and taking his wife. Unfortunately for the Danes, the plan did not work. By taking Emma of Normandy as his wife he also took Ethelred’s son as his step-son, allowing the throne to pass right back to the house of Wessex. However, this was not such a victory for the purity of the royal bloodlines as it seems. Emma of Normandy was not English or French but Danish, making the new King of England, Edward the Confessor – patron saint of kings and, for a time, patron saint of England – half Danish.

1066

According to popular history, 1066 is the year in which England was successfully invaded by the French. Actually, the Normans weren’t so much French as they were French-speaking Danes. William the Conqueror (or Guillaume le Batard) was a descendant of the Viking conquerors of Normandy. Defending the English crown was Harold Godwinson (nephew of Edward the Confessor) whose great-grandfather was, you guessed it, Danish. William and his descendants ruled England for the next hundred years.

The Plantagenets

With the fall of the Norman dynasty the rule of England passed to the Plantagenets, a French dynasty that retained the crown for three centuries. The majority of the Plantagenets ruled from their territories in France and, over the years, gained many more.

Many of England’s most famous monarchs were French Plantagenets, including the hump-backed Richard III and Richard the Lionheart. It is thought that the Lionheart thought so little of his English kingdom that he never even visited, preferring to fight for new French territories.

The Tudors

The Tudor dynasty followed the Plantagenets, beginning with Henry VII, the son of a Welsh nobleman and a Plantagenet lady. He also took a Plantagenet as his wife (the daughter of the late Plantagenet king Edward IV) making his son, the infamous misogynist Henry VIII, part French and part Welsh.

Henry VIII’s eldest daughter was half Spanish (born to Catherine of Argon) – the aptly named Bloody Mary. Her reign was as bloody as it was short. His second daughter, Elizabeth I, however was particularly English. In fact, Elizabeth I was one of the most English monarchs ever to take the throne. The daughter of Anne Boleyn she was almost entirely English, with only a little French and a pinch of Welsh blood from her father’s side of the family.

Inspired by her half-sister Mary (a half Spanish queen who married a Spaniard), Elizabeth went one step further and declared that she was ‘married to England’. Due to the biological impossibility of her becoming pregnant to a landmass, however, she died without heir, allowing the crown to fall once again into the hands of a foreign power – those troublesome Scots.

The Stuarts

While many angry and deluded Scotsmen mistakenly believe that the union between England and Scotland came about through the English invasion of Scotland, it was actually the King of Scotland who took control of the English crown. In reality, however, James I was actually half English, only one quarter Scottish and one quarter French. His son, Charles I, was half Danish and married Henrietta Maria of France. This made the following two kings of England, the brothers Charles II and James II, only one sixteenth Scottish, one eighth English, one quarter Danish but mostly French. They were also raised in France after going into exile during the English civil war.

Of course things got even more complicated when England was invaded once again (on the invitation of parliament) during the Glorious Revolution. This time the country would be ruled by a King and Queen each in their own right – Queen Mary (the daughter of James II and half English on her mother’s side), and King William III, Prince of Orange and Stadtholder of the Dutch Republic (who was Dutch by birth but also half German and of distant French ancestry).

At this point it was decided to just scrap the whole ‘Scottish king’ idea and start from scratch, by getting in some well-dressed Germans. Go figure.

The House of Hanover

That’s right, we were so confused about who should rule England that we invited the Germans to come over and sort it out for us. George I, George II, George III, George IV and William IV were all of pure German blood, saving anybody the trouble of trying to work out how English they were – they weren’t. Eventually Queen Victoria was born of this line, marrying her cousin Albert and taking his name to form the House of Saxe-Coburg and Gotha (Windsor) to which our beloved Queen Elizabeth II was born.

How did the Germans get their hands on the English crown? Well, it had more to do with religion than royal bloodlines. In 1701 the British Parliament passed the Act of Settlement. This controversial piece of legislation stated that no member of the catholic faith could take the throne of England. Thanks to the Act of Union, 1707, the thrones of England and Scotland would also be permanently joined at the hip. Unfortunately, while the ruling monarchs, William and Mary, were ardent protestants none of their children survived beyond infancy. This meant we had to look a little further to find a legitimate, protestant heir to the throne, eventually settling on Duchess Sophia of Hanover (the granddaughter of James I) and her heirs. The Duchess Sofia did not live to take the throne but her son George Louis did. Over fifty of his distant relatives had stronger claims on the throne but he was the only non-catholic. Over the next several hundred years the sons of George I would marry an endless string of German princesses, helping to secure their power over an equally endless string of central German provinces. Had German tradition allowed for women to inherit their fathers’ titles, Queen Victoria would have added the Kingdom of Hanover (one of the largest kingdoms in Germany at the time) to her many dominions. But don’t go thinking that the German connection stops there. Although Victoria did not inherit her family’s Hanoverian lands, her descendants continued to inter-marry with the Germans until the First World War.

So, with all comparisons made, how English is the Queen of England? Well, she could be more English, but then few other English monarchs have been, and if she were, we would have one less reason to make fun of her. She certainly isn’t German, as many of critics maintain. She may be descended from a long line of German monarchs, but then those monarchs have ruled England for so long that they have become an integral part of England. Yes, she has German ancestry, but then England is populated by the ancestors of German Anglo-Saxon settlers. She is also part Danish, but then half of England was once ruled by the Danes and as many as several thousand Vikings may have settled there. She is also part Scottish, but then she is the Queen of Scotland too. All in all, she is as English as anybody could expect. Her husband, on the other hand, is part Greek, part Danish and part – you guessed it – German!

How English is the future King of England, Prince Charles? He’s one sixteenth Scottish, two sixteenths Greek, three sixteenths Danish, 7 sixteenths German and a pitiful three sixteenths English. But then it’s not the purity of his blood that really matters.

Not sure. Anyway, this is not one of those lists.

Rather, let’s consider how they did, not why. Some threw it all away for a roll in the hay, others were luckier. While some careers crashed to bits on the rocks of infidelity, others marched on unscathed. We’ll cover that. But our key focus is who scored biggest in the bargain from a strictly superficial perspective. In other words, who landed the hottest political paramour?

10. Rielle Hunter (John Edwards) — USA

Senator John Edwards had emerged from the 2004 United States Presidential Election a defeated Vice Presidential nominee, but an energized, grass roots-riding liberal populist with sights set on the top job. However, his candidacy would be derailed during the 2008 primaries when an affair with Rielle Hunter, campaign videographer, was confirmed. Hidden paternity of a son born-out-of-wedlock, a cancer-stricken wife who finally had enough, a sex-tape claimed by many owners…this tryst continues to have legs.

9. Ashley Alexandra Dupre (Elliott Spitzer) — USA

Elliott Spitzer paved the way to the New York Governor’s mansion as the tough as nails District Attorney who took down the Gambino crime family and took no quarter from white collar criminals on Wall Street. Unfortunately, Mr. Spitzer’s legal zeal didn’t extend to the world’s first — and in the State of New York, illegal – profession of prostitution. Campaign funds had been spent on $1,000 an hour call girl Ashley Alexandra Dupre. Mr. Spitzer resigned from the Governorship, entered couples therapy with his wife, and launched a speaking and writing career to clear his name. Much to the dismay of music critics everywhere, Ms. Dupre decided to bare her soul by launching a singing career.

8. Donna Rice (Gary Hart) — USA

Gary Hart set sail for a three-hour tour aboard the “Monkey Business” with Donna Rice taped to his lap, effectively torpedoing his chances of becoming the next US President. Really, what more needs to be said?

7. Mirthala Salinas (Antonio Villaraigosa) — USA

Antonio Villaraigosa, Mayor of Los Angeles California, had an affair in 2007 with political reporter Mirthala Salinas. It led to his wife filing for divorce (for the second time in 10 years, the first prompted by infidelity as well). In 2009, Mr. Villaraigosa began dating news anchor Lu Parker, who had glowingly reported on the mayor’s political future, just as Miss Salinas before her. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer, huh, Mr. Mayor?

6. Christine Keeler (John Profumo) – Great Britain

Back in the early 1960s, Britons had largely rebuilt from the devastation of World War II, but now lived under the duress of the Cold War. John Profumo, Secretary of State for War, had an honorable war record and had risen through the ranks of Britain’s Conservative Party. His career was going swimmingly, until his affair with Christine Keeler, that is. Turns out, Ms. Keeler was also having an affair with a senior naval attaché at the Soviet embassy. Once he was found out, Mr. Profumo compounded his error by lying to the House of Commons about the nature of their relationship. He resigned, and for a time cleaned toilets for a charity organization. Ms. Keeler faded into obscurity (which is decidedly better than scrubbing loos).

5. Tai Collins (Chuck Robb) — USA

Chuck Robb was a popular Senator of Virginia when the story broke in 1991 that he had had an affair with Miss USA Virginia Tai Collins in the 1980s. Ms. Collins confirmed the reports, while Mr. Robb countered that they had only shared a bottle of champagne followed by a nude massage. Re-elected to the US Senate, then an appointment to the Iraq Intelligence Commission, Mr. Robb’s career seemingly failed to suffer. We’ll score this one a Happy Ending.

4. Carla Bruni (Nicolas Sarkozy) — France

Like his Continental political cohort Silvio Berlusconi, French President Nicolas Sarkozy has had his share of romance, and not only of the matrimonial kind. Only in France can we consider Carla Bruni, Mr. Sarkozy’s wife, to be his paramour. Meeting one month after Mr. Sarkozy divorced his second wife, and two years into the marriage, Mr. Sarkozy and Ms. Bruni are both rumored to be having affairs, yet cheating on their respective lovers with each other. Vive la France!

3. Mary Pinchot Meyer (John F. Kennedy) — USA

A mover and shaker in the progressive movement and part of Washington high society, Mary Pinchot Meyer was a walking companion of Jackie Kennedy in their Georgetown neighborhood. Later, after Ms. Meyer’s divorce and the Kennedys move to the White House, she reportedly became a different sort of companion to Jackie’s husband John. Eleven months after Kennedy’s assassination, Ms. Meyer was murdered. Some say it was the CIA. Perhaps, but more importantly for our purposes, she could sure where the hell out of a turtleneck sweater.

2. Alina Kabaeva (Vladimir Putin) — Russia

In early 2008, the Moscow Korrespondent reported a torrid affair between Russian gold medal rhythm gymnast Alina Kabaeva and Russian President Vladimir Putin. Within months, the paper was closed following Kremlin pressure. Known for her, um, extreme flexibility, Ms. Kabaeva had been reportedly appointed to the United Russia ticket after Mr. Putin had requested the pro-Kremlin party go for a “sexier” image. She is now a lawmaker in the Russian Duma. Her position on Freedom of the Press legislation has not been reported.

1. Noemi Letizia (Silvio Berlusconi) — Italy

Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi has a longstanding reputation as a female conqueror or philanderer and cad, depending on one’s perspective. Mr. Berlusconi cranked it up a notch when his attendance at Noemi Letizia’s 18th birthday party was leaked. Berlusconi’s wife took this as an opportunity to end the marriage, exclaiming she “cannot remain with a man who consorts with minors.” It didn’t help matters that Mr. Berlusconi had been conspicuously absent from his own sons’ 18th birthday parties. Miss Letizia reportedly calls Mr. Berlsconi papi (“Daddy”). How very sweet.

0. Marilyn Monroe (John F. Kennedy) — USA

“Happy Birthday…Mister President” — with those four breathless words, the very hushed illicit affair between the most beautiful woman in the world, and the most powerful man, raised eyebrows across the United States. By many accounts, Mr. Kennedy had already moved on to Mary Pinchot Meyer (see above), perhaps a less seductive, but decidedly less demonstrative and therefore less dangerous, concubine. Mr. Kennedy’s rejection of Ms. Monroe reportedly ramped up her addictions and neuroses, ending in her early demise.

But not before cementing her place as the Hottest Political Paramour of all time.

10.The Presidency is a Lasting Office

The United States is a young country when compared with other countries. At just over 220 years old, the United States pales in comparison to the histories of such countries as France, Russia, China, and Japan. However, the United States could be said to have more luck in setting up a chief executive. When George Washington became President in 1789, France was ruled by a king (King Louis XVI), Russia was ruled by a czarina (Catherine the Great), China was ruled by an emperor (Emperor Kao Tsung), and Japan was ruled by a shogun. The only one of these executive offices that is still in existence today is President. Go ahead and brag, Americans!

9. The President Can Go to War, but Not “War”

Under the Article I of the United States Constitution, only the United States Congress can make an official declaration of war. This was meant to prevent the President from simply declaring war on his own. Even without this official power to “declare” war, Presidents have sent troops to “trouble spots” over the world, Vietnam being the most dramatic example of this. In response (but still seeking to find middle ground), Congress responded in 1973 by passing the War Powers Act, which provided that the President can send U.S. armed forces into action abroad only by authorization of Congress or if the United States is already under attack or serious threat. The War Powers Resolution gives the President the power to send troops without an official declaration of war, but requires that the use of forces must be terminated within 60 to 90 days, unless Congress authorizes such use (or extends the time period), and that the President attempt to consult with Congress beforehand (and provide updates thereafter). Since 1973, this provision has come into play in instances ranging from evacuations of U.S. embassies, intervention in Kosovo, the Persian Gulf War, and the Iraq War.

8. Presidents May Be Down, but Not Always Out

Usually, a President who leaves office (whether because of a failed re-election attempt or retirement) simply fades into the sunset, content to work on his memoirs and make speeches (for substantial fees, of course). However, not all outgoing Presidents were willing to give up – some even ran for President again. Five of these Presidents (Martin Van Buren, Millard Fillmore, Ulysses S. Grant, Theodore Roosevelt, and Herbert Hoover) were unsuccessful in their bids to recapture the Presidency. However, President Grover Cleveland was able to mount a successful comeback attempt, and served for four more years – the only President to serve two non-consecutive terms.

7. S Marks the Spot

Although you may know him as President Harry S. Truman, technically speaking, there is no need to put a period after the “S” when speaking of him. Why is that? Because the letter “S” is the full middle name of President Truman. The “S” represents his two grandfathers, both of whom had names prominently including the letter “S” (Truman’s paternal grandfather Anderson “S”hippe Truman, and his maternal grandfather “S”olomon Young). It appears that compromise-minded parents led to the unusual middle name for Harry. If you do use the period after the S, don’t worry — President Truman used letterhead bearing the name “Harry S. Truman.” If it was okay by Harry, it’s probably fine for you, too.

6. Twenty-Year Curse

Sometimes called the “Curse of Tippecanoe,” there was a disturbing pattern that began in 1840, in which each President who won election in a year ending in zero (such as 1860 or 1920) died in office. It began in 1840 with President William Henry Harrison (a.k.a. “Tippecanoe”), who died just 32 days after taking the oath of office. From there, the “Curse” fell upon President Lincoln (who was assassinated by John Wilkes Booth in 1865), President Garfield (who was assassinated by Charles Guiteau in 1881), President McKinley (who was assassinated by Leon Czgolgosz in 1901), President Harding (who died in office in 1923), President Roosevelt (who died in office in 1945), and President Kennedy (who was assassinated by Lee Harvey Oswald – hey, that is the official word — in 1963). President Ronald Reagan, elected in 1980, broke the so-called “Curse” and made it all the way through his entire 8-year term of office, although he had to survive the assassination attempt of John Hinckley to do so.

5. They Elect Presidents, Don’t They?

As everyone knows, the United States holds elections every four years for President and Vice-President. However, for well over a year in the 1970s, the United States had a President and Vice-President who were not elected by the people. This unique situation began in 1973, when Vice President Spiro T. Agnew resigned (in relation to an investigation to alleged bribes he took when he was the Governor of Maryland). In response, President Nixon appointed Rep. Gerald Ford of Michigan as Vice President. Just one year later, President Nixon resigned the following year in connection with the Watergate scandal, which left Vice President Ford as the new President in August 1974. With the Vice President’s office suddenly vacant, President Ford appointed Gov. Nelson Rockefeller of New York as the new Vice President. Thus, from August 1974 to January 1977 (when President Carter entered was inaugurated), the United States had two unelected individuals leading the country.

4. Being Popular Does Not Make You President

Most people have no trouble remembering the contentious 2000 Presidential election between Republican candidate Gov. George W. Bush and Democratic candidate Vice President Al Gore, in which Gore won the popular vote (i.e., total votes cast), but Bush ultimately won the electoral vote (and, thus, the Presidency). However, not many recall that 2000 was not the first time that the candidate that won the popular vote did not win the electoral vote. In fact, it happened three times prior to 2000: in 1824, Andrew Jackson won the popular vote, but lost the election to John Quincy Adams; in 1876, Samuel J. Tilden won the popular vote, but lost the election to Rutherford B. Hayes; and in 1888, Grover Cleveland won the popular vote, but lost the election to Benjamin Harrison. Although there have been many calls over the years for an overhaul of the U.S. election process (particularly the dissolution of the Electoral College), the process remains the same.

3. Yes, Virginia, You Do Have the Most Presidents

If there were a competition between the states for most homegrown Presidents, Virginia would win in a walk. You see, Virginia gave us eight Presidents (Washington, Jefferson, Madison, Monroe, Harrison, Tyler, Taylor, and Wilson). Sadly, thirty-one states have never claimed a native son as President.

2. The Presidency is Swimsuit Optional

President Lyndon Johnson enjoyed swimming in the White House pool, but he enjoyed it a bit more than some might have liked. You see, LBJ swam nude in that pool (which was super-heated, allowing for this to occur), but that was not his only quirk. Old LBJ often held policy meetings with his staff while swimming in the pool, and required that all aides (all males, presumably) who were attending also swam nude as well. You can call it a strange motivational technique, but it could also be said that President Johnson was simply carrying on Presidential tradition. Over 100 years earlier, President John Quincy Adams regularly took pre-dawn skinny-dips in the Potomac River – in warm weather, of course.

1. Relatively Speaking, the Presidency is a Family Affair

There is little question that, with under 50 members in over 200 years, the Presidency is an exclusive club. However, the club seems a bit more exclusive the closer you look – all the relatives who have been President might make it seem that you have to check your family tree to get in the door. The most famous relatives were the two father-and-son combinations — President John Adams and President John Quincy Adams, and President George H.W. Bush and President George W. Bush. However, it doesn’t stop there. President William Henry Harrison was the grandfather of President Benjamin Harrison, President James Madison and President Zachary Taylor were second cousins, and President Franklin Delano Roosevelt was a fifth cousin of President Theodore Roosevelt. To keep things simple, we left out the less direct relations (like all the “once removed” connections) – including those would make this a very, very long and complicated list.

10. Did not Talk Till he was Three

Albert Einstein is called by many the smartest man to have ever lived, but he had a great deal of difficulty in his early childhood development. Some have wondered if he suffered from ‘Asperger’s syndrome’ a high function type of autism. But such speculation is exactly that, speculation. But we do know that he did not learn to speak until he was three years old and even at the age of nine he is said to have spoken hesitantly and with uncertainty. This later information could have been a result of his dislike of this school system, (he went through several and never seemed to enjoy any of them), and his tendency towards introspection and thoughtfulness. If nothing else Albert Einstein is a good example of why being a late bloomer isn’t such a bad thing.

9. A Cottage in Norfolk Saved the World…Maybe

During the 1930’s while Hitler’s National Socialist Party, (the NSDAP), was gaining power and prominence Albert Einstein went to stay in a cottage in Norfolk, England. Einstein (a symptom of being of Jewish ancestry in the 1930’s) constantly had to be uprooted and moved as the political and geographical topography of the world shifted under the pressure of the Nazi’s. When Hitler was elected to power as Chancellor in 1933 it became impossible for him to stay in Nazi Germany and a British M.P, (Member of Parliament), Commander Oliver Locker-Lampson offered him a place to stay in Norfolk. While at the M.P’s cottage, located in the English countryside, Einstein was able to continue work on his scientific theories including developing the ideas behind the first atomic bomb. In many ways being able to retreat to the small cottage in Norfolk could be said to have helped end the war, (depending on your opinion on the atomic bomb), but certainly advanced scientific theory and progress. He left Norfolk to move to America.

8. Grand Theft Cerebral

A lot of people know that Albert Einstein’s brain was removed and given to science for research several hours after his death in 1955, but not many know that he might not have given his consent. It has been said in the past by biographers and friends of the famous physicist that it was Albert’s wish that his mind should be used for scientific research but more recently evidence has come to light to suggest he might never have requested anything of the sort and that his brain was removed without his or his family’s permission. Although Hans Albert Einstein, his son, did agree to it after the brain had already been removed but insisted it only be utilized for serious scientific research in respected journals. After significant study it was discovered that among other thing’s Einstein’s mind contained more gilal cells then most people. These cells are responsible for synthesizing iinformation.

7. He was Swiss

Einstein regained his Germany citizenship in 1914 during the changing political climate at the end of the First World War. He did so when he entered the Germany civil service, (the famous patent office), as well as being a member of the Prussian army and professor at the academy of sciences. But when he left the civil service in 1933, and Germany, he lost that citizenship. Before this happened he had already gained his Swiss citizenship in 1901. But unlike many of the bonds he made during this almost nomadic time in his life he retained his Swiss citizenship until the day he died, even after he became an American citizen in 1940. In fact between 1933 and 1940 he retained his Swiss citizenship only and you could argue that since he held it longer, and until he died, he was more Swiss than anything else.

6. His Work Largely went Unnoticed After the War

While Einstein gained a lot of popular attention for his eccentricity and public image as a member of the scientific community behind the discovery of the atomic bomb, and while most people knew the sight of his unkempt hair style and that he did not own a pair of socks, his work in the later part of his life, went largely unexamined until recently. Einstein had been working on a Unified field theory, (it involved gravity and electromagnetism being solved by one set of equations), and would do so until he died, but from 1920 onwards he also began to concentrate on quantum theory. Most people will have heard of this area of theoretical physics by now, (if not in class then in any number of Hollywood movies that have exploited it), but the work was neglected until very recently and is now at the centre of the discipline being considered alongside such high sounding things as ‘superstring theory.’

5. Married his Cousin

A number of famous people have married their cousins including Jesse James, Franklin Roosevelt, H.G Wells and Charles Darwin. But so did Einstein and he did so with gusto. His first wife, Melvia Maric, (married in January 1903), was a Serbian woman and has been described as having more of an intellectual partnership with Einstein. He had two sons by her. He married his second wife, Elsa Lowenthal, about four months after divorcing Maric who had been living separately for five years. Elsa had nursed Einstein through an illness and this might have led to his affection for her. In any case she was his first cousin on his mother’s side, but also his second cousin on his father’s side making him her cousin two times over on both sides of the family!

4. Won the Nobel Prize for…

One of the more fascinating facts about Albert Einstein is that very few people know what he won a Nobel Prize for in 1922. (Coincidently Nobel was the inventor of dynamite.) Of course an award like the Nobel Prize is actual given for a life time of work, and no one specific thing, but for the purpose of naming a winner a single thing is generally named. In Einstein’s case it was his discovery of the law of the photoelectric effect in 1905. (Let’s not go there, but the photoelectric effect has to do with electrons that are given out of a material after the absorption of energy, more to the point x-rays, and Einstein postulated that this absorption was caused by quanta’s of light, now called protons) He invested the prize money heavily in the United States and saw much of his investments wiped out in the Depression of 1929.

3. President of Israel

Here’s a good one. It is largely believed that in 1952 Israel asked Albert Einstein to become Prime Minister. In fact Einstein was asked by the Prime Minister, Ben Gurion, to become Israel’s Second President since it’s foundation in 1948, asking him ‘whether you would accept the Presidency of Israel if it were offered you by a vote of the Knesset.’ Albert, a Jew but not an Israeli citizen, declined the offer saying that while he was honored he was also sad and ashamed to say he could not accept it. There are various reports as to why he turned it down, but by and large they come down to his disinterest at taking on such responsibility, or joining the stress of the political world. After all his entire life had been spent fascinated by physics and the pursuit of scientific answers, his causes and ideology were a necessity brought on by the urgency of his time for good men to say wise words.

2. Funded WWII

In 1944 Albert Einstein decided to write out his 1905 paper, the one that won him the Nobel Prize in Physics, (see item 4 on this list), and auction it off. The papers earned six million dollars and the money was sent to help with the war effort of World War Two. A vocal pacifist and author of the book, ‘Why war?’ ironically Einstein actually helped fund World War Two.

1. Money

Naturally we have been interested in what one of the smartest men who ever lived has to say on nearly everything, not least because he seems to have had so much to say on social and moral issues. A pacifist and social thinker Einstein has undoubtedly been able to teach us a lot outside the world of science, so what did he think was the greatest hold up to human development and social advancement? That’s right, money! In 1934 he wrote that he was convinced wealth would never be an aid to the betterment of humanity, ‘even in the hands of the most devoted worker in this cause.’ He felt that money only caused greed and envy which brought on selfishness and an abuse of power. At the end of the day it is only one man’s opinion and he never said it would be absolutely detrimental or disastrous to have a currency, only that it was the single greatest thing holding us back.

It is never easy to judge a person, even with all of the facts in place. And so we often leave it to history to make the final judgments. But history rarely gets things right. Although the science of history is all about facts, the modern conception of history is rarely accurate. The perception of past events is so tainted by centuries old propaganda that it can be difficult to discern the truth from our society’s own, colored interpretations. Fortunately, true historians never give up the search from the truth, and are now challenging the long held beliefs of pub quiz experts and so called ‘folk’ history. New evidence is continually dispelling our common misconceptions about legendary figures and painting them in new lights. I say let history judge these people no longer, but let us judge them on the facts instead.

Here are history’s most misunderstood figures. They are all people who have been inaccurately portrayed by the public consciousness.

10. Saint Patrick

Legend portrays Saint Patrick as an Irishman who banished all the snakes from Ireland. In fact he was born in Cumbria, England and was first taken to Ireland as a slave. After several years of servitude he escaped and returned to Cumbria and was ordained as a priest but traveled back to Ireland as a missionary. In fact there were no snakes in Ireland at that time and this part of the legend may in fact refer to the druids who used a serpent as their symbol.

Saint Patrick converted several thousand people in Ireland and Scotland to Christianity, most notably the ‘sons of Irish kings’. However, he was not solely responsibly for the conversion as is commonly believed.

9. Pontius Pilate

Pontius Pilate was the Roman Prefect of Judea from 26–36 AD. Many people have blamed Pilate for the crucifixion of Jesus, being the man who officially sentenced him. However, the bible clearly ascertains that he defended Jesus and believed him to be innocent. Pilate said that he saw nothing treasonous in Jesus’ actions. He gave the populous of the city a chance to free him, offering a choice between him and the criminal Barabbas. Unfortunately, his plan backfired slightly. The claims of treason had been made by the Jewish population and Pilate was politically powerless to do anything about it.

8. Ulysses S. Grant

One of the most celebrated Generals of the American Civil War, Ulysses S. Grant was well respected, even adored by the American public in the years before his election as U.S President. However, his presidency was marred by corruption and scandal. Grant’s reputation was destroyed and history recorded him as one of America’s worst presidents as well as a drunkard.

In recent years, however, historians have begun to clear Grant’s name. Although his presidency clearly was a disaster, the rest of his career, particularly his military career, was outstanding. Grant has been highlighted as a military genius. What’s more, personal accounts of his character suggest that he was not a drunkard but a very polite and clever man, if a little shy.

Grant was once accused of being an anti-Semite but later cleared his name. In fact he was an outspoken supporter of the civil rights movement.

7. La Malinche

Dora Marina, or La Malinche, is one of the most mysterious and intriguing figures in Mexican history. As both translator and mistress to Spanish conquistador Hernan Cortez she played a controversial role in the Spanish invasion of Mexico and the defeat of the Aztecs.

La Malinche was the daughter of a Mayan tribal leader. She was taken captive by enemies of her father and sold into slavery. It was as a slave that she was presented to Cortez and given to him as a gift. It is said that Cortez could not resist her beauty and took her as his companion and advisor. It is in this respect that she has become an icon of feminine power. Her command of several native Mexican languages was useful to the Spanish who used her as a translator during their expedition, but La Malinche is said to have held a power of Cortez, approaching mythical proportions.

La Malinche has been portrayed in various ways in Mexican history and opinion varies over her importance and her intentions. Some describe her as a traitor to the native Mexicans, even saying that she was an evil woman. Her arrival with Cortez seemed to fit the prophecy of the downfall of the Aztec, leading to her portrayal as a goddess, even as a whore of Babylon type figure. Some suggest that she had a personal grudge against the Aztec and actively plotted their downfall with Cortez for this reason. It is possible that she felt betrayed by the native population herself and that she had become embittered by her slavery.

Others see her very differently, suggesting that she was a calming influence on Cortez. It is said that the destruction of the Aztecs and the outlying peoples would have been much more severe were it not for La Malinche. In this respect she can be seen as a savior, often compared to the Virgin Mary.

The truth behind Dora Marina’s character has been lost to history but she remains a potent figure. Scholars continue to debate her true motivations and the complexities of her relationship with Cortez.

6. King Canute

Canute the Great to his friends, this Danish king became king of England in 1017. Canute is largely forgotten as an English king and is remembered simply for attempting to hold back the tide. This has forever branded him as an idiot, for obvious reasons.

In actually, Canute the Great was indeed a mighty and wise king. At the height of his power he ruled Denmark, Norway and England, and commanded loyalty from areas of Sweden and Ireland and Scotland. This made him one of the most powerful men in medieval Europe. Apparently the anecdote about holding back the tide is true. Canute never really thought that he could command the forces of nature, in fact he was making a point, saying that no king is as powerful as God. After proclaiming his Christianity in this way, Canute placed his crown atop a crucifix and never wore it again.

5. Saint Nicholas

Saint Nick, otherwise known as Santa Claus, does not live and never has lived in Lapland or the North Pole. He actually lived in southern Turkey between the years 270 and 346 AD. He is the patron saint of children, amongst other things, and was known for his generosity. With Christmas trees being a German creation, Saint Nick left his gifts in people’s shoes. Usually these were coins left anonymously. Today, the tradition of leaving one’s shoes outside at Christmas is still observed.

The biggest gift he ever gave was to a poor man and his three daughters. The man had no dowry to pay for his daughters and was worried that if they never married they would have no choice but to become prostitutes. Hearing this, Saint Nick visited the poor man at night and anonymously threw three purses filled with gold through his window. Because of this, Saint Nicholas became the patron saint of pawnbrokers. Traditionally, three golden baubles are hung in the window of pawn shops to represent the three purses of money.

On another occasion, Saint Nick rescued two children from an evil butcher who intended to cut them up and sell them as ham.

The association between Saint Nick and Christmas probably developed from Saint Nicholas Day, a traditional day of gift-giving in early December. However, Saint Basil is also often associated with gifts during the Christmas period.

4. Robin Hood

Tales of Robin hood have been popular in England ever since the Victorian era but have little basis in fact. The Victorians exaggerated an existing myth to include Robin Hood’s support of King Richard against the evil Prince John. This served to promote the positive image of the monarchy and support the heroic ideal of the common man protecting his noble rulers. Even without these additions, the myth seems unlikely and has never found any solid foundation in history. It is widely doubted that there ever was a man named Robin Hood.

Some scholars believe that the name originates from the phrase ‘robbing hodd’, referring to a thieving band of men. It is thought that a number of outlaws did live in the forests of what is now South Yorkshire but whether these men ever stole from the rich to give to the poor is debatable. It is most likely that they stole to support their own families after being forcibly evicted from their homes in Nottinghamshire.

The naming of Robin Hood as the Earl of Loxley is another modern addition to the myth, as is his apparent involvement in the Crusades.

3. Oliver Cromwell

Oliver Cromwell was a puritanical dictator who ruled England following his victory in the English Civil War. He created the English Commonwealth after deposing the king. Whilst the king had been overthrown for disbanding parliament and imposing his own absolute monarchy, Cromwell, as Lord Protector of England did the same. He famously dissolved the elected parliament claiming them to be corrupt and appointed his own ‘council of saints’ in their place. Whilst he is remembered as a great figure in English democracy it could be said that he was more of a tyrannical puritan than a republican hero.

In Ireland Cromwell is remembered as a butcher and a conqueror following his campaigns to bring the country under English control. He is accused of a number of atrocities against the Irish people, in particular the Catholics, which are often described as genocidal.

On the night of Cromwell’s death, in 1658, a great storm ravaged England. It was said that this was the Devil coming to take his soul. That’s hardly the epitaph of a fair and Godly man. And yet in 2002 a poll undertaken by the BBC voted him as one of the top 10 Britons of all time.

2. Dracula

Vlad the Impaler was a medieval Romanian prince famed for his brutal torture techniques and vicious lust for battle. His family name was Draculea, meaning ‘son of the dragon’. In legend, he is said to have turned against God after the death of his wife, becoming the evil undead. This myth lead to the modern interpretation of Count Dracula and other Vampire stories. In reality, Vlad was not a count but a prince. Whilst he was born in Transylvania, Vlad was Crown Prince of Wallachia, a country in the south of present day Romania, bordering Transylvania. He frequently made attacks on Transylvania, which was a contested region, and slaughtered many there for not accepting his authority.

Whilst Dracula is commonly associated with evil he is sometimes seen as being somewhat of a Christian hero. He was a member of the ‘order of the dragon’, an order of Hungarian knights sworn to protect Christian lands from the Muslim Ottoman Empire. Located between Christian Hungary and the huge Ottoman Empire, Wallachia was on the front line in the Ottoman expansion into Europe. Vlad’s barbarous torture techniques have earned him a place in history but they were not altogether unusual in medieval Europe. They may also have been exaggerated by his enemies. Impalement was supposedly his preferred method of execution, but this was common practice at the time. Reports that he burned entire villages to the ground are also unsurprising. In Western Europe, however, tales of Vlad’s attacks across the Balkans led to him being branded a ‘bloodthirsty’ tyrant. In Russia, on the other hand, stories of his brutality were equally rife, but most portrayed him as being a strong ruler and justified in his actions. These Russian accounts tell that he nailed hats to ambassadors’ heads.

The idea that Dracula was immortal may be derived from his own propaganda or that of the Ottomans, who found it difficult to put an end to his insurgency. When he finally was killed in battle, the Ottomans removed his head and placed it on display as proof of his death. It was impaled on a spike in a final twist of irony.

1. Richard the Lion Heart

The Coeur de Lion is widely considered to be one of the greatest ever English kings. Not bad to say he was actually French. Of course Richard was a king of England, there’s no denying that. He was one of the great Plantagenet Kings that ruled England and much of France simultaneously. But what is not commonly known is that he stole the throne from his father, in a war of revolt involving his many upstart brothers. After going to such lengths to secure the throne, Richard actually thought very little of England (seeing it as the seat of his title but not of his power) and visited very rarely, preferring to spend his time in his French territories or fighting overseas in the Crusades.

Richard’s role in the Crusades, defending his family’s kingdom in Jerusalem from the Muslim armies of Saladin, is what earned him a place in the history books. He is often portrayed as a paladin, a heroic Christian warrior. This image was largely helped by his own ego, comparing himself to the legendary King Arthur, a mistake that the Victorians would later repeat. Richard’s religious intolerance was not limited to his campaigns in the east, however. At home he was just as vicious, instigating an early holocaust of London’s Jewish population. Thousands of Jews were flogged, beaten to death or burned alive. Others were forcibly baptized. Richard then went on to revoke a decree protecting the Jews, allowing a second massacre in York.

For all his skills as a crusader, Richard was only partially successful in his quest. On his return journey he was also captured, not by the great armies of Saladin, but by the Duke of Austria who accused Richard of murder of his cousin. Richard must have known that the Austrians were out to get him (perhaps he had a guilty conscience) because he attempted to disguise himself as an ordinary knight. Legend tells that Richard disguised himself as a peasant but in reality he was far too vein to be seen without his expensive jewelry. In the end it was his taste for roast chicken (then an expensive delicacy) that gave him away. Richard’s territories were then subject to outrageously high taxes as his mother sought to raise the ransom money and his brother John, in England, attempted to raise enough money to persuade Richard’s captors to keep him locked up.

When Richard eventually did return he spent several years suppressing the revolts that had begun during his captivity. It is believed that this was done through campaigns of incredible violence. In one account, Richard even reduced himself to looting; taking a hoard of Roman gold that had been found by a local peasant.

At least on his deathbed Richard finally found kindness. He had the archer that had shot him brought to his side and personally forgave him. However, as soon as Richard died, the archer was taken outside and flogged to death.

Richard the lion heart is remembered as a Christian hero and a great, iconic English king. If anything, he was a violent egomaniac who struggled to keep order in his realm at the best of times.

Defining the borders between countries has been a problem since the dawn of time. With inaccurate maps, leaders used to rely on geographical features, such as mountain ranges and rivers, to draw such boundaries but in the absence of these it could be difficult to tell what land belongs to whom. Even now, with accurate mapping, the same questions arise. In fact, accurate maps often only serve to make nations more particular when it comes to land disputes.

10. Basque Region

The Basque is a historical region in Northeast Spain and Southwest France. The area formed a Roman, and medieval kingdom until the early tenth century when it was divided into the French province of Gascony and the Kingdom of Pamplona, later the Kingdom of Navarre. The Spanish Basque region was later annexed by the neighboring Kingdom of Castile, which later became the central region of the Kingdom of Spain. It has enjoyed varying degrees of autonomy since then, owing to its rich industry and diverse culture.

The Basque Region in Northern Spain has been pushing for independence for the last several decades. The region operates as an autonomous region of Spain and is afforded more autonomy than any other non-independent region in Europe. The Basque Nationalist Party has also been campaigning for the independence of the Basque peoples in France. The terrorist organization ETA is the militant wing of the Basque nationalists. ETA uses the tactic of guerrilla warfare and assassination to achieve its goals. To date it has killed over 800 people and carried out countless kidnappings.

The Basque peoples have their own language and unique culture. They are one of the few truly native European peoples and can trace their ancestry in the region over two thousand years.

9. Texas

In the early years of American colonization, Texas was claimed by the Spanish Empire but the French mistakenly established a colony there. The French colony was short lived but the French used this as justification for it claiming the region as part of its Louisiana territory. This prompted Spain to quickly begin colonization of the area. They established several small villages and missions, and began converting the native population. Later, after gaining independence from Spain, Mexico allowed immigration to Texas from the U.S. This proved to be their downfall as by 1834, there were 30,000 Americans living in Texas, compared to only 7,800 Mexicans.

In 1835, through 1836, the Texas Revolution saw Texas becoming an independent republic. Although this was never recognized by the Mexican government who were determined to recapture the region and continued to mount attacks against the Republic. In 1845, the Republic of Texas was officially annexed by the United States to prevent it from being retaken by Mexico. This sparked the Mexican-American war, in which Mexico invaded Texas once more but ultimately lost significant territory.

8. Tibet

Tibet has a history of being picked on. As a center for the Buddhist religion it has a major political significance. However, this also makes it a peaceful nation, open to abuse by other, less enlightened powers.

First it was the Mongols and then Nepal and China. Then, in 1904, the British led an invasion, establishing Tibet as an independent nation under the protection of the British Empire (with strict trade restriction favorable to Britain). Each time, the Dalia Lama fled his country in true pacifist style. When the Chinese invaded once again, in 1910, the Dalai Lama fled to British India. He returned in 1912 (following the fall of the Quing dynasty in China) to establish a new government, proclaiming that Tibet was independent but had a long-standing friendship with China, described as being that of ‘patron and priest’. This situation remained throughout the modern period until the end of the second world war, when the newly formed People’s Republic of China mounted a full-scale invasion.

Following the invasion of Tibet by the Peoples Republic of China in 1950, the world went Tibet crazy. For the next several decades hippies across the world sported t-shirts, banners and badges insisting that the Chinese ‘Free Tibet’. In 1956 a rebellion against the Chinese authorities (supported by the CIA) was unsuccessful.

7. Northern Ireland

England spent most of the middle ages trying to capture and dominate Ireland. For the most part they were successful, particularly in Northern Ireland where the Catholic Irish were successfully converted to Protestantism and made loyal to the British Crown.

When Ireland gained independence as the Irish Free State, the government of Northern Ireland made the decision to remain part of Great Britain. However, Irish nationalists saw this as a betrayal and believed that the entire of Ireland should be united as one republic.

The main issue of the separation of Northern Ireland from the Republic of Ireland has been the question of where to draw the borders, particularly in areas where both Catholics and Protestants live together. This has led to decades of violence between the two groups, both in the form of terrorist organizations and in civil unrest within local communities. To keep the peace, Britain has maintained a strong military presence in Northern Ireland. Unfortunately these soldiers have often been targeted by terrorist organizations too.

Since 1998, the problems of Northern Ireland seem to have been largely resolved with the signing of the Good Friday Agreement. This historic agreement established ‘power sharing’ in the disputed areas.

6. The Falkland Islands

The Falkland Islands is a small a archipelago off the southeast coast of Chile. Although seemingly insignificant, they have been claimed by no less than four nations in their short history (Britain, France, Spain and Argentina) and have been fought over several times.

The Falklands were first discovered by the Dutch but the first colony was established by the French in 1764. Unaware of the French colony, the British also claimed the islands in 1765 and established a colony a year later. In 1766, the French claim to the islands was acquired by Spain and in 1767 the islands were placed under the command of a Governor of the Buenos Aires Colonial Commission. The Spanish attacked the British colony at Port Egmont, forcing the British to leave and bringing the two empires to the brink of war. However, a peace treaty allowed them to return only a year later. Only a decade later the British and Spanish both abandoned the Islands, each leaving behind plaques asserting their claims. The newly formed nation of Argentina was then free to establish a penal colony on the Islands, although this was attacked by the U.S during a conflict over fishing rights in the area.

In 1833 the British were back. They established a naval base at Stanley and reasserted their claim to the islands. The islands remained under British control into the modern era when, in 1982, Argentina invaded but was ultimately driven back during the Falklands War. The Falkland Islands remain under British control.

5. Kashmir

Kashmir is a disputed region that sits between the nations of Pakistan, India and China. It was once ruled by the Muslim Mughals and by the Afghan Durrains. Between 1846 and 1947 Kashmir was a state ruled by a Maharajah and administered by the British Empire as part of British India. The state was established following the British victory in the first Anglo-Sikh war. Following the British pullout from India and the subsequent division of British India into the twin nations of India and Pakistan, Kashmir became a disputed region.

Following the British pullout from the region. A rebellion against the Maharajah took place. During this conflict, an agreement was reached between the Maharajah and India in which he agreed to cede the region to India. However, troops from Pakistan then invaded Kashmir, stopping the agreed handover to India. Indian President Nehru brought the situation to the attention of the UN who were able to arrange a cease but have been unable to come to a permanent arrangement over sovereignty of the region.

Kashmir is now jointly administered by India, Pakistan and China. As all three of these nations are armed with nuclear weapons, a stalemate has been reached and the Kashmir debate continues to this day. India and Pakistan have come close to nuclear conflict over the issue several times.

4. Silesia

This region in central Europe between Germany, Poland and Czechoslovakia (currently resting almost entirely within Poland) has been disputed for centuries. Because of its central location, Silesia has been the focus of many conflicts, particularly between Prussia and Austria.

Silesia has been home to many different ethnic groups and, in its early history, was part of the kingdoms of Bohemia and Moravia. Later it was occupied by Poland and divided into a series of independent duchies. A growing German influence saw Silesia become part of Prussia and then the German Empire. In the eighteenth and nineteenth century, a series of wars were fought over Silesia between Prussia and Austria. After World War I, and following a number of Silesian uprisings, the region was granted to Poland, with portions remaining in Germany and a small area to the South becoming part of the new Czechoslovakian state. After World War II the region became part of the Soviet Union and the borders changed yet again in favor of Poland. The German population was forced out and replaced with Polish settlers.

3. Saarland

The Saarland is a small, coal rich area on the border between France and Germany. Historically the territory has been largely under German control, and colonized by both France and Germany. In 1792, the forces of Napoleon captured the area and made it part of the French Republic. After the defeat of Napoleon the area was returned to Germany, however Napoleon III ordered a second invasion, sparking the Franco-Prussian war in which Germany would prevail.

In the period between the two World Wars, the Saarland was placed under the joint administration of France and Britain by the League of Nations. In the build-up to World War II it became a safe haven for those fleeing Nazi Germany. However, as anti-French sentiment increased so did loyalties to Germany. In a referendum in 1933 the population of the Saarland voted overwhelmingly for the ceding of the area back into German hands.

The end of World War II saw the Saarland under French control once again. The French campaigned for the right to annex the region as reparation for the damage caused in the two wars. The Germans also proposed the establishment of the Saarland as an independent state. However, it was ceded to the German Federal Republic in 1957.

2. Abkhazia

Abkhazia (formerly the Kingdom of Abkhazia) is an autonomous region in North-West Georgia, on the Eastern coast of the Black Sea, Bordering Georgia and Russia. Historically, Abkhazia has had periods of independence, intermixed with periods of union with Georgia. The entire region was once part of the Russian Empire, becoming part of the U.S.S.R. The Russian Empire fought the Ottoman Empire for control of the region.

During the Soviet period. Abkhazia enjoyed independence, as a Soviet Republic and member of the Soviet Union. Neighboring Georgia and Dagestan were also independent Soviet Republics. However, since the collapse of the Union, Georgia has claimed Abkhazia as it’s own. During the 1990s, separatists in Abkhazia fought a war of independence against Georgia and also carried out a genocide of 15,000 ethnic Georgians. The rebels were supported by other terrorist agencies and, unofficially, the Russian government. Abkhazia has since considered itself to be independent and has held it’s own elections under its self imposed titles of the Republic of Abkhazia. However, Georgia, and many other countries have refused to accept the country’s independence.

In August, 2008, Georgia launched an offensive against rebel forces in South Ossetia, another breakaway region that had declared independence at roughly the same time as Abkhazia. In response, Russia declared war on Georgia and committed it’s forces to supporting its allies in South Ossetia and Abkhazia simultaneously. In the 2008 war, Russia successfully captured significant territory on the behalf of Abkhazia and South Ossetia, and was successful in driving Georgian forces out of Abkhazia. However, Russia remains the only country to officially recognize it as an independent republic.

1. Jerusalem

The city of Jerusalem is the most hotly disputed territory on Earth, being the religious center of three major religions; Judaism, Christianity and Islam. These three religions have been in competition for control of the city for nearly two thousand years and each has occupied it more than once.

The city was part of the kingdom of Judea, in Biblical times, which was later captured by the Roman Empire. At first it was the Jews who fought the Romans but later it was the Persians who succeeded in capturing the holy city after a twenty-one-day siege. The Persian army then slaughtered up to 90,000 Christians and Jerusalem was subject to several hundred years of Arab rule. Feudal wars between the Arab kingdoms resulted in their decline from the area, allowing Christian forces to occupy Jerusalem for the first time since the Romans.

The eleventh century saw the establishment of the Kingdom of Jerusalem, ruled by members of the powerful Angevin dynasty of France. Several of the famous Holy Crusades sought to defend the Holy City and to recapture former Christian territory but ultimately failed. Jerusalem descended into anarchy with the arrival of the Black Death and repeated invasions by the Persians, Egyptians, Mongols and eventually the Ottoman Empire. The Ottoman Empire gave a great deal of stability to Jerusalem, allowing pilgrims from all faiths and nationalities to flock to the city, creating a truly multicultural society. The population of the city exploded.

The end of the First World War saw the city and the region placed in British hands. In this period violence between Jews and Muslims was high as the growing Jewish population fought to gain dominance and to establish an independent Jewish state.

In the wake of the Second World War and the British pull-out of the region, Israel declared independence. Jordan quickly moved in to occupy East Jerusalem whilst Israel occupied the West side of the city. An armistice was reached but when Jordan began restricting access to the holy sites on their side of the divide Israel responded by declaring war. In the 1967 Six-Day War, Israel occupied East Jerusalem. Muslim retaliation has continued ever since, with many terrorist and political groups aiming to recapture Jerusalem and install it as the capital of a new Palestinian state.

The Jerusalem question has been the most heated political debate of modern times. A system of power sharing similar to that in Northern Ireland has been suggested but with the cycle of violence continuing, any permanent agreement between Jews and Muslims seems unlikely. Meanwhile, the Christian influence in the city remains strong, with the Greek Orthodox Church owning more property in Jerusalem than any other organization.

Of course sometimes war is a necessity and can be a very effective political tool. The Second World War, for example, was entirely justified (at least from the allied perspective) and was successful in stopping what would have been decades, if not centuries, of Nazi oppression. It also resulted in great political and scientific advances like the U.N and the atomic bomb. Throughout history, however, wars have been fought over the silliest things and have resulted in nothing but pain and misery. Here are our top 10 most pointless wars. Feel free to disagree and get all het-up over your sense of national pride.

10. The Falklands War

The Falkland Islands is a small archipelago in the South Atlantic Ocean, approximately three hundred miles off the southern coast of Argentina. They have a population of around three thousand British citizens, mostly of British descent, and about the same amount of sheep and deer. The Falkland Islands are an oversees territory of the United Kingdom and serve as a naval base of the Royal Navy. Essentially the islands are baron and considered to be a small, insignificant, and mostly forgotten corner of the British Empire.

And yet in 1982 Great Britain went to war over the Falkland Islands, following an invasion by Argentinean forces. There are many people in the U.K today that consider the Falklands War to have been a rather pointless conflict. These are mostly those that lost loved ones in the conflict. Amongst others, the consensus is that the Falklands War was a worthwhile undertaking on the matter of principal. This principal being that every corner of the British Isles, no matter how remote, is worthy of the full defense of the British Crown. It was on this standpoint that the war was fought. It sent a message to the rest of the world that Great Britain was not a force to be toyed with and that, although severely reduced in size, the British Empire is an ever present force in world politics.

Of course, from the Argentinean point of view, the Falklands was thoroughly pointless and a total disaster. Argentina went to war with one of the most heavily armed and technologically advanced naval forces in the world over a few pointless, wind-battered islands. And they lost! How embarrassing.

The Falklands war lasted just over two months, although war was never declared. Argentina was sent packing by British forces after a closely fought naval and air battle, and a grueling land campaign.

9. The Cod Wars

The Cod Wars, so called by the British media, were a series of heated conflicts between Great Britain and Iceland over fishing rights in the North Atlantic between the 1950s and 1970s. The argument became so heated that it would surely have resulted in open warfare were not for the fact that both countries are NATO members.

To say that open warfare did not break out during the Cod Wars is a matter of contention. Although no official state of war ever existed between the two governments, a state of war certainly existed between British fishermen and the Icelandic coast guard. When Icelandic vessels began cutting the nets of British trawlers both sides armed themselves. There were several incidents in which ships rammed each other, and when the Royal Navy was called in to protect British trawlers they took the extreme measure of actually firing upon the Icelandic coast guard on several occasions.

8. The War of Jenkins’ Ear

The war of Jenkins’ ear was essentially a trade war between Great Britain and Spain, fought exclusively in their American colonies between 1739 and 1742. The war began as a naval conflict over the rights of British traders in Spanish waters, largely played out by privateers. It later featured some major land battles as the British parliament became more determined to see any tangible results of their campaigns. After four years of war the map of the Americas had not been altered I any way and Britain had not succeeded in pressing their naval advantages against the Spanish Empire. This colonial war then spilled over into the larger War of the Austrian Succession, fought in Europe. Between 1739 and 1742 the British had not launched a major offensive against the Spanish in Europe for fear that the French would enter the war in their defense. But when the War of the Austrian Succession began, France declared war on Britain anyway, leaving the British feeling that they should have attacked Spain when the odds were in their favor.

The war began when a number of British trade vessels were boarded and confiscated at Spanish ports, despite a treaty which gave them rights to trade goods and slaves in Spanish America. One of the captains of these ships, Robert Jenkins, had his ear cut off by a Spanish captain. When giving evidence of the Spanish raids in parliament, Jenkins produced his severed ear to the English politicians, causing outrage and sparking the war.

The major British campaigns took place in south and central America. A full scale invasion of New Granada (present day Columbia) ended in disaster with the British troops succumbing to a deadly tropical disease. Other attacks were in the Caribbean islands and the Venezuelan coast, none of which were particularly successful. An attack on the Spanish port of Porto Bello, on the coast of Panama, was the only success. Porto Bello was a major source of silver. The British attacked and captured the town, holding it for a mere three weeks. In that time, however, they had destroyed the towns fortifications and warehouses. When the victorious fleet returned home, ‘Rule Britannia’ was performed for the first time in public.

The Spanish also had little success in this world war that never was. An attack on the British colony of Georgia from Spanish Florida was repelled, meaning that neither side achieved any territorial gains.

7. The Texas Archive War

The series of events known as ‘the Texas Archive War’ was a conflict between the army of the Republic of Texas, under the orders of President Sam Houston, and the civilian population of Austin, Texas.

Sam Houston had always been proud that the capita city of his fledgling nation had been named after him. So when the Texan Congress announced plans to create a new capital, he was less than happy. The new capital would be purpose built and named for Stephen F. Austin. The small town of Waterloo was chosen as the site for the new city and renamed Austin. In 1839 it became the capital of Texas and the new home of the national Archives.

Two years later, Sam Houston became president again and made his dislike of the capital city known. He refused to stay in the official presidential residence, and instead stayed in the guest house of one Mrs Angelina Eberly. Mrs Eberly would become the hero of the Texas Archive War.

When Mexico began an invasion of Southern Texas, President Houston saw the opportunity to have his namesake town become the capital once again. He declared that Austin was no longer safe and could not be well defended against the Mexicans. The Texan Congress was moved to Washington-on-the-Brazos and many of the citizens of Austin were evacuated. Those that stayed, including Angelina Eberly, knew exactly what was going on. When Houston sent an armed party to safely remove the national archives from Austin they rose up in defiance. Angelina Eberly caught the President’s men in the act and fired a cannon into the side of the archive building. The rest of the townsfolk, now alerted by the firing of the cannon, gathered to give chase to the men and reclaim the archives. They took the cannon with them. The soldiers had been ordered by their President to take the archives without bloodshed. So when confronted by an armed mob, on the following day, they had no choice but to surrender the archives.

In 1843 Sam Houston was removed from office and in 1845 the capital was once again moved to Austin.

6. The Football War

Also known as the ‘soccer war’ or ‘100 hours war’, this conflict took place during 1969 between El Salvador and Honduras. Political tensions between the two countries were high, owing to disputes over several matters including immigration policies. What had been a political argument then broke out into open warfare after a football match between the two countries ended with rioting. Salvador launched an attack on its neighbor, seizing land that had been the subject of a long raging border dispute, but later retreated. The two countries signed a peace treaty in 1980 and the International Court of Justice ended the border dispute by awarding the land in question to Honduras, the original occupiers. The final score: Nil-nil, a disappointing result all-round.

5. William’s War

William of Orange, Stadtholder of the Dutch Republic and newly crowned King of England conducted this war against the French in North America in 1689-97. As always, the French and English used their Native American allies to conduct most of the fighting, most notably the Iroquois Five Nations, who suffered huge losses at the hands of the French and remained at war with them until 1701 as a result.

Besides mass bloodshed amongst the Native allies of both empires, the British and French achieved very little in this war. The English forces managed to attack the French before word of the war had even reached them. As a result they were able to capture the French province of Acadia (present day Nova Scotia) and the following attack on the province of New France and Quebec did not go so well. When a peace treaty was signed, it declared that all territorial gains were voided and the borders of North America returned to their previous positions. It had all been for nothing. French Acadia would not become the British territory of Nova Scotia until 1701, following the war instigated by William’s wife, Queen Anne’s War.

‘William’s War’ and ‘Queen Anne’s War’ are also often referred to as the ‘French and Indian Wars’.

4. Serbo-Turkish War

After gaining independence from the Ottoman Empire, ending hundreds of years of Ottoman rule, the kingdoms of Serbia and Montenegro foolishly declared war on the Ottoman Empire in 1876. This was a reaction to the massacre of Bulgarian rebels by the Ottomans, which had outraged the world.

Whilst Russia and Austro-Hungary were negotiating over the future of the region, and likely pulling the strings of the two young nations, Serbia and Montenegro were fighting a losing battle. The huge Ottoman Empire (comprised of present day Turkey, Israel, Serbia, Iraq, Jordan and parts of Saudi Arabia) was simply too large for them to take on alone. A temporary cease-fire was declared but when it ended the Turks began attacking them once more. Serbia had been unsuccessful in finding new allies. Fortunately for them, Russia was eager to assert authority over the region. With the deployment of the Russian forces, the Ottoman Empire was quick to sue for peace.

The war achieved nothing. But the following year, Russia declared war against the Ottomans on their own terms and won several major victories.

3. The Pastry War

During the early years of the Mexican Republic, widespread civil unrest dogged the citizens of Mexico City. A great deal of damage was done to the homes and businesses of these citizens including those foreign nationals living in the city, for which the Mexican government made little reparation. In 1838 a French pastry chef claimed that his shop in Mexico City had been seriously damaged by looting Mexican officers. He appealed to the French king for help and the French demanded that Mexico pay 600,000 pesos. Mexico had also defaulted on several loans from the French treasury. When Mexico refused to pay, the French navy blockaded every Mexican port from the Yucatan to the Rio Grande and destroyed the bulk of the Mexican fleet at Veracruz. Mexico responded by declaring war on France but had no choice but to agree to the demands.

2. The Russian War of 1812

By 1812 Napoleon had built an empire almost the size of Europe. Those countries not already occupied by or allied to the French Empire had been pacified through treaties favorable to France. Napoleon drew his eyes on the Russian Empire, but failed to anticipate the logistics necessary in capturing such a large area. If that wasn’t a big enough blunder, he also forgot to pack his snowshoes.

After a long march, Napoleon entered Moscow to find that the Russians had abandoned it. Those that remained were starving and had begun looting food. There were no officials to offer the surrender of the city and no food to feed Napoleon’s massive army. Soon the French army began looting for themselves and somewhere in this chaos a fire was started. The fire destroyed four fifths of the city of Moscow and left Napoleon and his army with no shelter, food or plunder. With no food, and now no hope of victory, Napoleon was forced to withdraw from Russia. Of his 600,000 strong ‘Grand Army’, only about 40,000 limped back into France to quell a revolt that had taken place in his absence. The Russian campaign had been such a disaster that Napoleon found himself wondering why he had bothered in the first place. Had he really expected to conquer Russia so easily?

Tchaikovsky was so impressed with the Russian tactic of running away that he composed the 1812 overture in celebration.

1. World War I

Many people across the world consider the First World War to have been the most pointless and devastating war ever fought by any country in history. Although political tensions between the massive Russian, French and British Empires and the Empires of Germany, Austro-Hungary and the declining Ottoman Empire, made this war inevitable, it did not succeed in providing any of the protagonists with any long term gains. In fact the only results of the ‘Great War’ were the development of the tank, the fighter aircraft and political instability in the Middle East.

The war can be seen as a huge family squabble, considering that the royal families of most of the warring nations were headed by the grand children of Queen Victoria of Great Britain. Whilst Great Britain and France had a long history of competition, this war saw them fighting together for the first time. Britain was also allied with the Russians, despite being at war with them only a few years before. The actual event blamed for the start of the war is the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand, heir to the throne of Austro-Hungary, by a Bosnian terrorist. As a result, Austro-Hungary declared war on Serbia. This caused Russia to declare war on Austro-Hungary in response and began a political domino effect.

World War I is so called because it eventually included almost every nation on the face of the Earth. Collectively the Empires of France, Britain, Italy, the Ottoman Empire and Germany controlled much of the world, but even those nations that were not under the control of a European empire became involved. Italy joined the war on the side of the Allies, whilst in the Balkans, Bulgaria fought against the Allied Kingdom of Serbia. Armenia and Greece helped in the fight against the Ottomans, Australia and New Zealand attacked German Samoa and German New Guinea, and even Japan joined in, invading Germany’s Micronesian colonies. Those that did not engage in fighting declared war just to feel a part of the latest trend.

Trench warfare and the use of machine guns and nerve gas helped to make the ‘Great War’ one of the bloodiest in history. Over fifteen million people were killed worldwide.

The medieval map of Europe was very different to the one we see today. Small, insignificant nations dotted most of the continent and changed hands regularly. All the major players were there, often taking different guises to they ones they posses in the modern era, but it would take several centuries for them to consolidate their power into the colonial nations that would later dominate the world. In the meantime other, now extinct kingdoms ruled in their place, hoping to be one of the few to make it through the great power struggles of the age.

These are the most badass of the Medieval kingdoms. Some went on to be the most powerful nations on Earth. Others came close, but did not quite make the grade.

10. Norman England

Normandy is a duchy in the North of present day France. In medieval times it was a powerful territory and the dukes of Normandy spread their influence across Europe. Normandy was such a powerful duchy that it captured a kingdom over twice its size.

The most famous Norman Duke was William the conqueror. William was great builder of castles and cathedrals, which greatly impressed the pope and others in the Christian world. At the battle of Hastings, in 1066, he won the crown of England and with it the title he’d always wanted – King!

Despite it’s pride, and centuries of historical bias, the kingdom of England was actually ruled from France for several hundred years. The Normans were great builders and provided England with a legacy of castles, cathedrals and monasteries. William also initiated the great census known as the doomsday book; a vast catalog of every man, woman, child and pig in his new kingdom.

9. Aragon

This relatively small kingdom in Northern Spain grew to enormous influence before it’s annexation into Spain. At the height of its power, Argon ruled a small-medium sized empire including neighboring Catalonia and Valencia, the Balearic Islands, Sardinia, Naples (Southern Italy), Sicily and, at the farthest reach of this Mediterranean empire, Athens.

This wide spread empire made it difficult for the Aragonese kings to uphold their power. They were often accused of neglecting their home kingdoms in Aragon, Catalonia and Valencia. One king shared between so many kingdoms was pushing it and so in the thirteenth century the Pope called a crusade against Aragon. The noblemen rose up against their shared king and forced him to sign the ‘Union of Aragon’, which gave them powers over him similar to the act of Magnicarta, signed in England.

Aragon ceased to exist as a kingdom after its invasion by the Spanish Kingdom of Castile. Aragon was subsequently merged with Castile to create the new Kingdom of Spain in 1516.

8. Angevin England

The house of Anjou was an extremely powerful medieval family based in the Earldom of Anjou, in Northwest France. Collectively it controlled countries from Poland to Jerusalem. When the Angevins successfully took control of the Duchy of Normandy it won the crown of England too, and added it to an Empire that stretched from Ireland, through France, to the Pyrenees.

The branch of the Angevin dynasty that came to rule England were called the Plantagenets. The Plantagenets ruled England, Ireland, and Wales, plus the territories of Anjou, Aquitaine, Maine, Normandy, Brittany, Gascony and Cyprus.

The most famous of the Plantagenet kings were brothers John and Richard. Otherwise know as the ‘Coeur De Lion’, or the Lion Heart, Richard is remembered as a great and brave Christian warrior for his role in the Crusades. Recent historians, however, are painting a new picture of England’s most heroic king, who initiated a holocaust of London’s Jews and killed his own father. Despite being it’s king, Richard only visited England once and spoke French rather than English. He died after being shot by an arrow whilst besieging a rebel stronghold in his French territories. He famously called for the archer and forgave him, but the archer was flayed and hanged to death as soon as Richard passed away.

John is not remembered so fondly as his brother. He lost the territory of Normandy to the Kingdom of France (with the exception of the channel islands which remain British today). Later, he lost the crown jewels of England in a bog. Silly John!

7. Hungary

Hungary is the oldest of all the medieval kingdoms. It existed long before France or England became unified and before its counterpart, Austria, had even been born. Hungary sat exactly where it does today but with borders expanding much further, into Transylvania and the present day countries of Croatia, Serbia and Slovakia. Hungary was successful in repelling invasions by the Mongols and the Ottomans, Europe’s greatest enemies.

Hungary was also one of the richest Kingdoms in Medieval Europe, owing its wealth of gold mines.

During the fourteenth century, Hungary was ruled by Angevin kings and briefly occupied the Kingdom of Naples. It was later inherited by the powerful Habsburg family and became part of the Austrian Empire.

6. The Kingdom of France

France had long been the home of powerful families and the territories of France were some of the most successful in Europe. However, in the early medieval this power had more to do with the strengths of the component territories of France than with the French crown itself. The duchies and lands that made up France were largely autonomous and, although they officially paid homage to the king of France, sought expansion of their own power rather than that of their monarch. The duchy of Normandy, and later Anjou, had become so powerful that they had earned the right to be considered equal to their king by becoming themselves the kings of England. This was a problematic situation for the French kings as they knew that it would not be long before the French rulers of England, Jerusalem and other countries came to surpass them. This would either end with the complete disillusion of France, which was now little more than a shaky alliance outside of its central Parisian territory, or the assumption of the French crown by one of its subjects.

Something had to be done about the powerful Angevins and their brothers the Plantagents who now ruled England and most of France. The French kings were of Angevin stock themselves, but were from the Capetian side of the family.

The situation was to turn around in the twelfth century with the reign of king Louis VI (Louis the fat), his son Louis VII and the royal advisor to them both, Abbot Sugar. Louis VI was more warlike than his predecessors and commanded much more respect. Under the advice of abbot sugar he was able to claw back dominance over his defiant Dukes and Barrons. Regular court sessions were called and those that did not turn up had their lands seized by the crown. A marriage with Eleanor of Aquitaine saw Louis VII gain the title of Duke of Aquitaine. However, the marriage was dissolved and Elanor later married Richard Plantaganet, who became Henry II of England, Lord of Ireland, Count of Anjou, Duke of Gascony and Duke of Aquitaine. Their children would be a powerful group and included the Plantagenet kings Richard and John.

King Phillip Augustus of France allied himself with Richard (the lion heart) against Richard’s father but then found an equal enemy in Richard when he became King of England himself. It was only when Richard was succeeded by his brother John that the French were finally able to gain control of Normandy and Anjou, becoming lords in their own land at last.

Later, France would become an absolute monarchy and asserted the king’s divine right to rule. A long commitment to the crusades had earned the French kings brownie points with the Pope and France went from strength to strength, eventually becoming one of the world’s most powerful nations.

5. Kievan Rus

Kievan Rus was not technically a kingdom but a principality, probably the largest principality in history. It occupied a vast area of Eurasia, from Scandinavia to the Ukraine. The population was an eclectic mix of Slavs, Finns and the many ethnic groups that still make up Western Russia today. In an unlikely twist, however, the ruling class were of Viking descent. Legend tells that the local peoples were so impressed by the Vikings that they invited them to come into their land and rule over them as princes. Although it remains likely that this is a Viking account written after all the usual the pillaging was over.

Centers of power in Kievan Rus were the cities of Kiev and Novgorod, which established itself as an Oligarchal Republic. These became centers of learning and culture in what was previously an untamed land.

In the Early medieval period, Kievan Rus was a rich nation, built upon the trade of furs and honey. It controlled trade routes in Eastern Europe and the Black Sea and became so powerful that it even made war on the powerful Byzantine Empire, attacking Constantinople its self in a somewhat stereotypical Viking raid. A peace treaty was later signed on equal grounds. The Rus were duly Christianized and the Grand Prince was given his official title and crown.

Asking a bunch of Vikings to share a vast and rich land such as Russia is clearly a bad idea, however, and the Rus did not last more than a few centuries before descending into anarchy. A total of eighty-three civil wars saw the kingdom split into over sixty separate principalities. The arrival of the Mongols destroyed many of these fledgling states, but those that survived did enjoy relative prosperity, forming alliances that would ultimately benefit from the stability and trade that the Mongols brought. These alliances were the Ukrainians to the South, the Belorussians, and the Russians to the North, all of which have survived as modern nations in the present day.

4. Spain

Spain has its beginnings as a number of small kingdoms in the North of present day Spain. These kingdoms were established by Christian Visigoths and in the medieval period were known as Leon, Castile, Navarre and Aragon. Several smaller Spanish kingdoms, such as Valencia and Barcelona were annexed into the Aragon Empire during the second and third centuries BC. Portugal emerged around this time as an offshoot of the kingdom of Leon.

Movement towards a united Spain as we know it began in the thirteenth century when the twin kingdoms of Castile (central) and Leon (North West) became united. The newly expanded Kingdom of Castile then expanded southwards into the Muslim territories of Andalusia. The kingdom of Spain was not formed until 1516, when Castile annexed the Kingdom of Aragon, inheriting its other Spanish position and its overseas acquisitions in the Mediterranean.

When the Kingdom of Spain arrived on the global scene it already controlled a small empire. From Aragon it had gained the vassal kingdoms of Naples, Sicily and Sardinia, and also controlled a portion of the Netherlands, in present day Belgium. By this point, the joint kingdoms of Leon and Castile had added Granada (South) to their Spanish territories, conquered the Canary Islands and begun the colonization of Hispania and Cuba. In the following centuries, as the rest of Europe was fighting amongst themselves, Spain lost it’s Italian positions but conquered build a huge empire in Mexico and central America, Florida, California, the Philippines, and divided South America between itself and its Portuguese neighbors.

Medieval Spain was a place of incredible religious intolerance. The inquisition sought out those with undesirable religious and political beliefs, Gypsies were persecuted and Jews were either forced out of the country or massacred.

3. Austria

Austria was home to the powerful Habsburg dynasty, one of the most successful families in history. The story of the Habsburgs, and the story of Austria, is one of success after success. As royal families go they were right at the top of the tree from their beginnings in medieval Germany to the present day.

Austria began its life as an early medieval duchy. It was inherited by the Habsburgs in 1278 and instantly began to grow, enveloping Carinthia and Hungary. Through war and marriage, the Austrians gained much territory and eventually became one of the largest empires in Europe. At one time, the Austrian Empire stretched from Bohemia and Galacia in the North to Dalmatia and much of the Balkans in the South, and from the Austrian Alps to Transylvania and the Carpathian Mountains in the East. Through marriage, the Austrian Habsburgs also controlled many of the low countries (Holland).

When the Habsburgs inherited the crown of Spain they won the biggest jackpot of the times. Not only did they now control Spain and its territories in Belgium, but also it’s overseas colonies in the Americas.

2. The Ottoman Empire

As a Turkish Sultanate, the Ottoman Empire evolved alongside the remnants of the Byzantine Empire based in Constantinople (present day Istanbul). Later, the Ottoman Empire surrounded and eventually enveloped Constantinople, taking all of its former territories. During the medieval period the Ottomans spread across Turkey and Greece, and into Europe via the Kingdom of Thrace and the Balkans. As a powerful Muslim nation, the Ottoman Empire caused panic and alarm in the Christian world, who mounted several crusades against them, particularly to protect the city of Jerusalem. But the combined forces of Christian Europe failed to stop the Ottomans, who continued to spread across North Africa, into the Middle-East and deeper into East Europe.

The Ottomans were able to capitalize on the power vacuum caused by their defeat of Byzantium and formed alliances with several small European nations in need of protection. These nations, such as Wallachia, Moldavia, and Ragusa, were later annexed into the empire. The Ottomans also found allies in several smaller Muslim kingdoms, allowing their rapid spread across the Muslim world.

At its height the Ottoman Empire stretched across North Africa, from Algeria to Egypt, along the shores of the Red Sea, through the holy lands and Mesopotamia, Turkey, the Caucuses, the Crimean peninsular and into Greece and the Balkans, as far North as Hungary.

The Ottoman Empire existed, in a smaller form, until the 1920s when it became the Republic of Turkey.

1. Russia

Russia was the most powerful successor to Kievan Rus. It began as the Grand Duchy of Moscow. Far out away from the power centers of Europe, Moscow had to fend for its self. It set about defeating the Mongols and destroying their Khananates across Eurasia. Once the Mongol threat had been removed, Moscow found it’s self in the perfect position to begin establishing an empire. It annexed Novgorod and other Rus principalities.

The most famous of the medieval Russian leaders was Ivan IV (Ivan the Terrible). In 1547 he was crowned the first Tzar of Russia. He destroyed the Mongol kingdoms along the Volga River and transformed Russia into a modern state with a code of laws and several centers of religion and learning. However, as the name suggests, Ivan the Terrible wasn’t all sunshine and kittens. An unsuccessful war in Lithuania, an attack on Moscow by the Crimean Tatars, a terrible famine and Ivan’s legendary cruelty helped to make this reign one of the many dark periods of Russian history. He ordered the entire population of Novgorod (once one of his richest cities) to be slaughtered before burning the city to the ground. Ivan is also remembered for his elaborate torture techniques. He is said t have kept bears in order to maul prisoners to death. A common torture technique was to have subjects bathed in freezing water and then burned. Ivan believed that if this were done in a repetitive cycle it would be akin to the tortures of hell. This was in keeping with his tyrannical piety. Ivan is said to have beaten one of his wives for wearing immodest clothing, causing her to miscarry.

Ivan was succeeded to the throne by his mentally ill son, Feodor. Known as Feodor the Bell Ringer, this Tzar loved to travel the kingdom ringing the bells of churches. It is now believed that Feodor may have poisoned Ivan, after the kooky Tzar tried to rape Feodor’s wife. After the death of Feodor, the line ended and the slightly less insane Romonovs came to power.

After several unsuccessful wars of expansion in Poland and the Baltic states, Russia turned its attention Eastwards. By the mid seventeenth century Russia had colonies in Siberia and along the Pacific coast. Shortly after that, Peter the Great won lands in the North West and established St Petersburg, enacting his plans to turn Russia into a great and enlightened Christian empire.

Interestingly, however, many nations with a heredity monarch have also been described as republics. For example, during the renaissance England was referred to as a republic. Constitutionally (under magnicarta) the rule of the monarch was subject to the approval of the barons who formed the backbone of the early parliamentary system. The many republics that formed the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics were arguably not true republics but rather vassal states to a central dictatorship, so they are not included in this list either.

This article concerns its self with republics of the past that did not survive into the present day. In many cases they have been superseded by, or absorbed into modern republics but were once independent, often powerful nations in their own right.

15. United States of Belgium

In 1789, as a reaction to the centralization of power, a large-scale revolt began in the Austrian Netherlands (present day Belgium). This revolution began in Brabant where an act was signed declaring the independence of the region. Later, several other territories in the Austrian Netherlands followed suit. After defeating the Austrian army these states signed a charter forming a political alliance under the title of the United States of Belgium. The revolution and political restructuring was inspired by the neighboring Dutch Republic, which had ousted its Spanish leaders and formed a similar union over a hundred years sooner. The republic was short lived. It was conquered by Austrian forces under a year later.

14. The Republic of the Rio Grande

In 1840, following the Texas Revolution and during repeated attempts by Mexico to regain its lost territories, a second rebellion began. This time it was a large area immediately to the south of Texas that made the decision to break away from Mexico and form it’s own government. Three renegade Mexican states, Coahuila, Nuevo Leon and Tamaulipas met on January that year in Laredo and created the Republic of the Rio Grande. Laredo would be their Republic’s temporary capital. However, despite support from the Republic of Texas, the rebellion did not last out the year. The Republic of the Rio Grande was reabsorbed into Mexico in November 1840.

13. The Republic of Hawaii

After deposing it’s monarchy, the Pacific nation of Hawaii established a provisional government before declaring its self to be a republic 1894. Hawaii was annexed into the United States in 1898 and officially became a state in 1959.

There has been a great deal of controversy surrounding the U.S conduct regarding the overthrow of the Hawaiian monarchy. At first the U.S government refused to acknowledge the power change but later changed tack to support the revolutionaries. A number of armed American troops were landed at Hawaii, making it impossible for the Royalists to win back sovereignty of the island nation. The U.S government has issued a formal apology for interfering in what was an internal power struggle.

12. The Republic of Cospaia

When Pope Eugene IV sold a portion of the Papal State to Florence in 1440, the official papers accidentally left out a tiny portion of land. The inhabitants of this area were quick to declare independence as the Republic of Cospaia, a tiny hamlet state consisting of three square miles. Cospaia became a center for tobacco sales in Italy and earned a reputation as a smugglers state. It was invaded by Florence and Papal State in 1826.

11. The Republic of Indian Stream

Indian Stream was the smallest constitutional republic to have ever existed in North America. Named for one of it’s three rivers, Indian stream occupied a small territory between the U.S state of New Hampshire and the Canadian province of Quebec. It was home to around three hundred citizens under president Luther Parker and partially recognized as independent between 1832 and 1835.

The jurisdictional problem of what the Americans called ‘the so called Indian Stream territory’ began with the Treaty of Paris which determined the boundary between Canada and the United States. The treaty defined this as being the most north-western head of the Connecticut River. The problem was that there were three tributaries of the river in the area, any one of which could have been the intended boundary. As a result, both the U.S and the British claimed the area to be their own.

The people of Indian Stream, or ‘streamers’, were remarkably brave. So brave in fact that they invited invasion by the British Empire by invading a nearby Quebec town. This international incident was precipitated by the arrest of a ‘streamer’ by a Canadian Sheriff. The ‘streamer’ had run up large debts in the nearby Canadian hardware store and was to be sentenced to a debtor’s prison. In response, the Indian Stream militia crossed the border to rescue him. Only the threat of invasion by the British caused the small republic see sense. In 1836 the Republic of Indian Stream relinquished its sovereignty to the U.S and became part of the state of New Hampshire.

10. The Republic of Yucatan

Between 1840 and 1848, the Yuctan Peninsular under Mexico, including the present day Mexican states of Yucatan, Campeche and Quintana Roo, declared their independence from the central Mexican government a total of three times. Each time this was in defiance of Mexican President Santa Anna’s refusal to adhere to the Mexican federal constitution and to respect the rights of Yucatan under a later treaty. During these periods of rebellion the breakaway state went by the name of the Republic of Yucatan and was successful in defending its self from Mexican attacks.

The first two times the Republic of Yucatan agreed to rejoin Mexico were the result of political restitution between the two countries. Mexico promised to abide by the constitution and return Yucatan’s privileges as a constitutional Mexican state. However, both times the Mexicans broke their promises forcing the people of the Yucatan to raise their own flags once again.

In 1847, during the last period of Yucatan independence, the ‘Caste War’ broke out. This was a revolt by the native Maya peoples of the Yucatan against the ruling class of Hispanic Europeans. So desperate was the situation faced by the Yucatan government that they wrote off to several major world powers, including the U.S, England and France, offering sovereignty over the Yucatan to whoever offered sufficient support to crush the revolt. The only nation willing to take up this offer was Mexico, and the Republic of Yucatan was once again annexed into Mexico in August 1848.

9. The Republic of Vermont

The U.S state of Vermont declared it’s independence in 1776, ignoring British land claims that had separated it between the jurisdictions of New York and New Hampshire. It was this defiance that later hindered attempts by the people of Vermont to join the United States as official land borders stated that it should not exist. In fact many within the U.S government held the opinion that Vermont should be dissolved and its lands divided between its neighbor states.

Despite remaining independent from the U.S until 1791, Vermont had always intended to become a member state since the defeat of the British. Many of it’s official documents, including its constitution, referred to Vermont as a state, rather than as a republic. Coins minted in Vermont also featured the phrase ‘the fourteenth star’ in anticipation of it’s acceptance into union. Officially, however, the stare was named the Republic of New Connecticut. It was the colloquial name that would catch on. The name Republic of the Green Mountains was shortened to the French ‘les monts vert’ or Vermont.

In 1791, Vermont officially became a member of the United States.

8. The Republic of Texas

The Republic of Texas had a short but tumultuous existence, beginning as a breakaway region of Mexico in 1836 and culminating in it’s annexation by the United States only ten years later.

Texas began it’s revolt against Mexico in a battle for reforms and the decentralization of the Mexican government, but won it’s victory as a newly formed, independent republic. A peace treaty with Mexico saw it gain more territory than either the original Mexican state or the modern U.S state. Texas originally occupied an area covering the entire of its present day borders plus parts of New Mexico, Oklahoma, Kansas, Colorado and Wyoming. Although many major powers recognized the sovereignty of Texas, Mexico did not. A dispute over the lines drawn by the peace treaty between the two nations caused Mexico to continue it’s attempts to bring Texas to heel. Mexico believed that the agreed border followed the Nueces River, whereas Texas believed it to be the Rio Grande. This would later spark the Mexican-American War, when Texas became a U.S state.

During it’s brief existence, the Republic of Texas was a center of conflict. Besides the internal power struggle to determine the nations policies, Texas was also under almost continual attack by the embittered Mexicans. In a foolish and entirely racist move the Texas Army attacked the native Comanche people, invading their heartland and declaring that they were no longer welcome on Texas. The Comanches retaliated, sacking several towns and sweeping across the nation in a war that brought the young Republic to it’s knees. Bankrupt, both morally and financially, and facing another invasion from Mexico, Texas turned to the neighboring U.S for help. Texas was annexed into the United States, handing over several of it’s northern territories to the federal government in return for the settling of its debts.

7. The Commonwealth of England

After a long and bloody civil war Oliver Cromwell, a hard nosed republican, transformed the Kingdom of England into a republican commonwealth. The royalist army was defeated, the king had his head cut off and parliament was granted full power over the realm, with the help of the ‘council of state’. However, the people of England were not yet ready to go without a king, they felt all naked, defenseless and downright strange without a rich obnoxious snob lording it over them. So they turned to Cromwell, offering him the crown of England. Cromwell, of course, rejected and told them that the whole war would have been for nothing if they had gotten rid of one king just to create another. However, he did eventually accept the lesser title of Lord Protector, a sort of ‘dictator for life’ position which he used to invade Ireland and Scotland on a somewhat tyrannical Crusade.

After Cromwell’s death in 1658, the title of Lord Protector passed to his son, proving that this was more a monarchy than originally intended. But after a year the true monarchy was reinstalled and Charles II was invited to reclaim his father’s throne.

6. Czechoslovakia

The Republic of Czechoslovakia was formed as a breakaway region of Austria. Campaigns were successful in several of the Austrian Empire, leading to independence and democracy in 1918. The Republic of Czechoslovakia was comprised of four former Austrian territories, the Czech lands of Bohemia and Silesia, Slovakia, and Carpathian Ruthenia. Parts of Bohemia formerly under German control also joined.

In 1938, Czechoslovakia became a target of the blossoming Nazi Empire. After annexing Austria, Nazi Germany demanded control over the Sudaten-lands, the Czechoslovakian border region between Germany and Bohemia. In attempt to prevent an inevitable war, several world leaders agreed to Germany’s demands in the historic Munich Agreement. The government of Czechoslovakia was not consulted. With the hand over of its border defenses in the Sudaten-lands, Czechoslovakia was open to German invasion. Facing a rapid invasion the Eastern half of Czechoslovakia declared Independence, proclaiming themselves to be the Slovak Republic in 1939. Bohemia, now occupied by German forces, became a protectorate of Nazi Germany. Meanwhile, the newly spawned Slovak Republic faced invasion from Hungary who saw the tiny state as an easy target. Facing enemies on two fronts the Slovak government were forced to accept German authority and became a vassal state of the Nazi regime.

Following the second world war, Czechoslovakia was reunited as a free republic once more, with the exception of it’s easternmost tip which was granted to the Ukraine. Between 1948 and 1990 Czechoslovakia became a Socialist Republic under the guidance of the U.S.S.R. It was then restructured into a Federal Republic before it’s separation, in 1992, into the separate nations of the Czech Republic and Slovakia. The former Czechoslovakian region of Carpathia remains part of Ukraine.

5. The Dutch Republic

By the late sixteenth century the low countries, a series of small nation states in present day Holland, had been dominated by Spain. The Habsburg family, the most powerful in Spain, had acquired the crowns of almost all of the low countries through a series of profitable wars and marriages. Charles Habsburg and his son, Phillip II of Spain, controlled a total of seventeen Dutch provinces and imposed a series of crippling taxes and genocidal religious laws upon their people. Enter William of Orange, that’s the province of Orange-Nassau, not the fruit. William led a campaign of revolution against his Spanish rulers. This was as much of a religious war as it was a political revolution. William was a protestant and was tired of watching his protestant brethren being tied to stakes, burned alive and generally persecuted.

The Dutch Republic was born, as a union between seven free Dutch states. William was named Stadtholder of the Dutch Republic and was heralded as a protestant hero. He was later invited to take the throne of England and continued to fight Catholics, in the form of the Spanish and French, in Europe, the Americas and Ireland.

The Dutch Republic lasted for over two hundred years, a time that is often referred to as the ‘golden age’ of the Netherlands, owing to its naval and trade successes. In 1795 it was invaded by Napoleons army and renamed as the Batavian Republic. It later became the French controlled Kingdom of Holland and was annexed into France. Following the French occupation the country became the Kingdom of the Netherlands, as it remains today.

Otherwise known as the Republic of the United Netherlands, the Dutch Republic influenced the formation of the United States of America, the constitution of which is said to have been largely based on that of the Dutch.

4. The Republic of Ragusa

The Republic of Ragusa, or Republic of Dubrovnik as it is sometimes known, was a small republic in Southern Dalmatia, present day Croatia. Essentially a city state, the people of Dubrovnik controlled a small stretch of coastline along the Adriatic. It was a major contender to the naval might of Venice and a major competitor to the Venetian’s trade empire. Ragusa was invaded by Venice in the fourth crusade, in the early thirteenth century, but regained it’s independence by the mid fourteenth century.

Following it’s freedom from Venice, Ragusa officially accepted the sovereignty of the Hungarian monarchy but continued as a free member of the Hungarian Empire. Following the Hungarian period, Ragusa formed an alliance with the Ottoman Empire.

The relationship with the Ottomans proved to be a beneficial arrangement for Ragusa. They officially paid homage to the Sultan and paid him an annual tribute. In exchange they were given protection and allowed access to the black sea trade routes that had once made Venice and Genoa rich. Ragusa became a full protectorate of the Ottoman Empire in 1684.

Ragusa was a grand republic for hundreds of years. It may have been small but it commanded an epic trade fleet, which kept the citizens of Dubrovnik wealthy and powerful. The fact that the Republic spent as much time paying homage to various monarchs as it did living the life of a truly free republic does not diminish the achievements and long history of this forgotten nation.

As the spice trade became dominated by far-voyaging ships from Portugal and Spain, the Black Sea became less important in the Spice and Silk trades from the East. As a result Ragusa went into decline. It was eventually conquered by the French under Napoleon in 1808. It now the southernmost tip of Croatia.

Despite being a republic, Ragusa was ruled by the aristocracy. There was no monarch and power was shared, but the common citizens had few rights and were considered to be a subordinate class.

3. The Most Serene Republic of Venice

As the Western Roman Empire, or Byzantine Empire, shrunk back towards its capital in Constantinople, Romanised civilizations in Northern Italy were left defenseless to the barbarian peoples of the steppe. For the sake of mutual defense, several communities in the Venetian lagoon banded together. The result was the formation of the city-state of Venice, later to become the Most Serene Republic of Venice.

The Republic of Venice formed part of the Byzantine Empire. As a kingdom of the Empire it did official homage to Byzantium, a relationship that would exist until the very end of the Empire. However, as a republic Venice gained independence and became a center of commerce and diplomacy. It’s ship building industry brought great wealth, as did the import of spices and silk from the East into Europe. Later, Venice used its wealth and ship building capabilities to become a great naval power that dominated the Adriatic. Venice established colonies along the coast of present day Albania and Croatia and as far as Crete in the Mediterranean.

Although known primarily as a merchant city, Venice participated greatly in the crusades and controlled the largest navy in the Mediterranean. In the early fifteenth century, the republic focused on expanding into Northern Italy, reaching as far as the Alps and the borders of Austria and Switzerland. It enjoyed independence for a thousand years before Napoleon invaded in 1797. During this time it had been one of the richest, most powerful and most influential nations in Europe.

Clearly, Venice was more than just a port. In fact it was a small Christian empire, the true heir of the Byzantines. When it’s ally Byzantium was overrun by the Ottoman Empire, Venice continued to fight for Christian supremacy in Greece, the Balkans and the Aegean.

2. The Most Serene Republic of Genoa

The Most Serene Republic of Genoa can, in many ways, be seen as a counterpart to the Most Serene Republic of Venice. The two shared the same title, were both historic centers of trade and commerce, and shared opposite sides of Northern Italy. Like Venice, Genoa occupied comparatively little territory on the mainland but had several colonies in the Mediterranean. In terms of scale the Genoese had the Venetians beat. They controlled the large island of Corsica, several islands in the Aegean including Lesbos and Samos, and Tabarka on the coast of Tunisia. But unlike the Venitians’ small Adriatic/Ionian Empire, the Genoese went much further than the confines of the Mediterranean. They conquered lands in the Black Sea, including the Crimean Peninsular and Georgia.

Genoa was a major figure in the Crusades, providing naval might and earning a considerable profit from the business of transporting soldiers and supplies from Europe to the East. It also made powerful allies in the Spanish, by supporting the conquest of Sardinia by the Spanish Kingdom of Arragon – a move which also proved to be very profitable.

In the late 14th century, however, after a brief war with the Republic of Venice, Genoa went into decline. The expansion of the Ottoman Empire cut the republic off from it’s lands in the Black Sea and eventually the Aegean. Genoa its self was occupied by the French and only saved from complete domination by their Spanish allies. But after a brief revival, the Republic fell from grace once again and was forced to sell it’s remaining possession, the island of Corsica, to the French. Like most European nations, Genoa was conquered by Napoleon in 1797. Napoleon briefly changed the name of Genoa to the Ligurian Republic but later annexed it as part of France. After the defeat of Napoleon, Genoa was given to the Kingdom of Sardinia, the kingdom it had once helped to invade.

1. The Roman Republic

The Roman Republic has been described as the greatest republic in history. Whilst it in no way lives up to the advancements of present day republics, Rome was certainly the most successful government of it’s type for a period of several hundred years, in terms of scale, military might, and technological advancement.

Rome began it’s life as a kingdom and was later structured as an Empire, but the republican period saw the greatest expansions. By the end of its life, between 44 and 27 BC, the Roman Republic controlled the entire of present day Italy, France, Greece, Macedonia, Albania, Portugal, Israel, Lebanon and Syria, plus most of Spain, parts of Turkey and parts of North Africa, including Tunisia, and the Mediterranean islands of Corsica, Sardinia, Cyprus and the Republic of Malta.

The Roman government was carefully structured so as not to allow any one individual too much influence. However, by the end of the first century BC powerful militants had amassed such power that establishing an Imperial structure would be the only way to restore stability. Opinion varies on when exactly the Roman Republic completely reformed into the Roman Empire, but the installation of Julius Caesar as dictator of Rome in 44 BC was surely the turning point.