10. Mathematics

Math is one of the world’s oldest languages, dating back to 50,000 B.C., when archeological evidence shows that early man knew how to count and keep track of items in a numerical value. By 25,000 B.C. there was evidence of geometrical designs. Ancient Egyptians furthered mathematics into a more sophisticated system of adding, multiplying and subtracting, while the ancient Greeks began developing modern day mathematical theories. From algebra to geometry to trigonometry and calculus – the whole world uses the same mathematical system. No matter what language one speaks, math in every country and continent is the same. Theories and formulas do not vary from country to country as language does, making mathematics the most concrete universal language – one that is based on rules and leave little room for interpretation. Math’s global reach was explored in the famous 1960 essay “The Unreasonable Effectiveness of Mathematics in Natural Science” by Nobel Prize-winning physicist Eugene Wigner, in which he calls mathematics “the only true universal language.”

9. Morse code

How did people communicate across the airwaves before television and radio? A language called Morse Code, which is a form of communication composed of on and off tones, lights and clicks. All you need to decipher Morse Code is a knowledge of the language and a good set of ears. Morse Code was first created in the early 1940s by Alfred Vail, for use in Samuel Morse’s electric telegraph. Morse Code was later used to transmit communication over the radio before voice transmission was possible. The early version of Morse Code has transformed into what we now know as The International Morse Code, a universally understood code that encodes the Roman alphabet, Arabic numerals, punctuation and procedural signals. All alphabetical and numerical communication is represented by sequences of alternating short and long signals known as dots and dashes, which make a sound similar to “dit” and “dah”. Since numerous non-English languages have more letters than the standard 26 letter Roman alphabet, many extensions to the Morse alphabet exist, making it a universal language. Though it has been around for more than 150 years, Morse Code is still used in many modern day communications, such as in aeronautical navigational aids. It also remains popular with amateur radio operators across the globe. Morse Code can also be used in emergency situations, where no other communication is available, making it not only universally understood, but useful throughout the world.

8. Body Language

Whether it is a flirty glance from across a crowded room or a stand-offish stance when someone feels threatened, body language is one language that needs little interpretation. Body language is the unspoken, often subconscious, language that our movements and bodies create, giving away our emotions and feeling. Unlike the spoken word, body language creates visual cues that are easily recognizable in any part of the world. Think for example of a woman standing in two different positions. In one, she has her arms loose and relaxed, with a pleasant expression on her face. No matter what your native tongue, it would be easy to interpret that this woman is happy and content. Take the same woman and imagine her with crossed arms and a scowl. It would be easy to assume that she is upset or angry. According to body language expert Dr. Lillian Glass, body language is not only universal in nature, but can often give away a person’s true intention, revealing more than the spoken word ever can.

7. Binary Code

Just two numbers, 0 and 1, are all that is needed to create the complicated mathematical and computer programming language known as binary code. Using combinations of 0 and 1, binary code can represent any amount you wish, using only two digits. For example, decimal 1 is binary 0001, decimal 3 is binary 0011, decimal 6 is binary 0110, decimal 9 is binary 1001 and so on. Binary code is used by mathematicians and also by computer programmers to deliver instructions to the computer’s processor. The binary number system was first invented in1679 by German mathematician Gottfried Leibniz. The modern day binary code, which is used for computer programming, was developed in the mid-20th century by American mathematician and engineer Claude Shannon. In addition to numerical binary code, the American Standard Code for Information Interchange (ASCII) uses 0 and 1 to represent alphabetical characters which are used as text in computers and other communication devices that use text. Since 0 and 1 are numbers that are used throughout the world, as the same mathematic rules apply to all languages, binary code is a universal language.

6. HTML

HTML, which stands for HyperText Markup Language, is the “behind the scenes” language that makes up everything you see in front of you on your computer screen when you surf the web. Every time you visit a web page, whether you are in the United States or the United Arab Emirates, you are reading HTML language, which is the building block of most web pages. HTML language, also known as HTML coding, was developed by British programmer Tim Berners-Lee in 1991 and changed the face of computers as we know it by creating the basis for Internet programming and the World Wide Web. HTML is written in the form of “tags,” which are various coded letters enclosed by angle brackets, such as . These tags help create text, images and interactive media content on web sites and are “read” by the computer to allow it to perform the desired function or display the desired image on a web page. HTML is a universal language, as it is used throughout the world and is independent of language and dialect.

5. Baby Language

There’s one sound that is very unmistakable no matter where you are in the world: a baby’s cry. According to Dunstan Baby Language, a system to decipher cries developed by famous opera singer Priscilla Dunstan, all babies – no matter where in the world they were born – have similar vocalizations in the first months of life. Crying patterns and sounds are similar in all babies, whether they were born in America or Zimbabwe. Dunstan, whose research has been scientifically proven by several major university studies, claims that all babies make similar distinctive cries when distressed, hungry, sleepy or angry. They also make similar coos, gurgles and laughs to express happiness and contentment. Difference in baby communication does not start becoming noticeable until the infant begins picking up vowel sounds that are distinctive to their parent’s native tongue. Babies can begin making distinctive vowel sounds beginning at six months old. In addition to making similar sounds, it has also been noted that babies seem to recognize facial expressions and tones – and can determine whether an adult is happy or angry – no matter what the language spoken.

4. Music

For thousands of years, humans have enjoyed music – and whether you are taking in a rock concert at a huge stadium, or are a part of a tribal drumming circle, music has a universal appeal that transcends language. Music has long been a touchstone of human culture and is used both to entertain and communicate. Regardless of a person’s native tongue, music is universal for several reasons. First, the musical notations are the same in every language. Sheet music is universally created and read by composers and musicians across the globe. The basis of modern day sheet music, which uses a system of dots and lines to create notes, keys and scales, was developed in Europe beginning in the late 1300s. This musical language is still in use today. The other reason music is a universal language is its ability to overcome language barriers to elicit emotion and enjoyment from the listener, no matter what their native tongue. According to a recent experiment by Thomas Fritz of the Max-Planck-Institute for Human Cognitive and Brain Sciences, modern day pop songs were played to African tribal members who had never been exposed to popular Western music and who do not speak English. Tribe members were able to determine which songs were happy, sad or angry, based on the composition of the music. Fritz determined that music is something that can be understood by all cultures and nationalities.

3. Art

Imagine a typical scene at the Louvre, the world’s most visited art museum located in Paris, France. Thousands of people flock to the museum each day – and they come from all over the globe: France, United States, Japan, South America or Germany. Though the museum-goers may all speak a completely different language, they can all appreciate and react to the art they are viewing, without the need for interpretation. Leonardo Da Vinci’s painting “The Mona Lisa,” for example is enjoyed by millions of admirers from all over the world each year. Because art is a visual medium, it needs no language to get its point across. Since the Neolithic days, when cave paintings were used to communicate messages and record history, art has been a part of all societies. Some art, such as cave paintings or Medieval-era portraits, were used for practical reasons. As society progressed, art began being used as a form of creative expression, beautification and entertainment. Art is so universal, that throughout time particular art movements – such as Impressionism and Pop Art – have begun in one country and created influences that have traveled across the ocean. Russian author Leo Tolstoy explored the universal nature of art in his famous 1896 tome “What is Art?” in which he notes that art is universal because it expresses thoughts and feelings which can be experienced by every human being. Since color, light, texture and shape are easily recognized by people of all cultures, art speaks to people on a global level.

2. Dance

The language of movement is something that every culture can understand, and in each nationality or culture, dance has long been an important part of society. Whether it is the elegance and grace of a beautiful ballet performance or the energy and excitement of hip hop dancing, modern day cultures use dance as a way to entertain and express emotion. The origins of dance began in prehistoric times, where dance was used as a way to communicate and also played a role in the development of rituals, which were important in establishing societal roles and values. Today, many South American, Aboriginal and African tribes use dance as a way to communicate and as a part of religious ritual. In the Western world, dance is primarily used for entertainment. Watching a dance performance or going out dancing are common forms of entertainment. Since dance requires no spoken language, it is easily interpreted by all nationalities. Though there are thousands of dances and dance styles that vary from culture to culture, anyone can appreciate the movement, rhythm and meaning behind dance, no interpreter needed. As famous choreographer Martha Graham once said: “Dance is the hidden language of the soul,” and it is language that needs no interpreter.

1. Symbols

Before man had written language, he had symbols – such as those found in prehistoric cave paintings. Symbols signified an idea or an object and were used as a simple, yet effective way to communicate. Even though we now live in a world that is home to hundreds of sophisticated written and spoken languages, symbols are still a major part of our daily communication. We use symbols each and every day, often without realizing it. Think of an average day. Driving to work, you stop at red lights and stop signs. Walking the street, you use a walking symbol to know when it is okay to cross at a crosswalk. When finding a restroom, you know which one to enter by the telltale male or female symbol. Throughout most countries, symbols are very similar and can be easily read, no matter what language you speak. Symbols are so universal and easily understood that studies conducted with chimpanzees by Yale University’s Laboratories of Primate Biology shows that primates are capable of recognizing and deciphering simple symbols commonly used by man.

10. San Pedro Prison – La Paz, Bolivia

A prison that tourists can visit, stay in and purchase copious amounts of some of the finest and cheapest cocaine Bolivia has to offer? Welcome to San Pedro Prison, where prisoners rent their cells and their families are allowed to join them. Inmates hold jobs within the community and for 1500-1800 Bolivianos can purchase cells with private bathrooms, cable TV and a private kitchen. The majority of income comes from the sale of cocaine, which is actually produced in large laboratories within the compound. Inmates retain the right the vote in national elections, unlike most other countries, and make their own laws and rules within the prison. It seems like a lovely place to serve your time, unless you’ve decided to commit a crime against women or children, which is highly frowned upon and will often lead to your injury or death by the other inmates.

9. Nuuk Correctional Institution – Nuuk, Greenland

Greenland is the world’s largest island and also one of its harshest places to reside. Greenlanders don’t believe in punishment, but rather rehabilitation and re-socialization, which is why the country contains only open prisons. Locked up only between the hours of 9:30 PM and 6 AM, inmates, including murderers and rapists, are allowed to hold down jobs in the community, go shopping, and even go to a bar if they so choose. The only time they are accompanied by prison guards on these outside excursions is during weekend hunting trips, when they are allowed to carry guns. This open system makes sense when you take a look at Greenland’s history. Up until 1976 the island didn’t have a prison system of any kind, and those who committed crimes were sent to respected community fishermen in order to be re-educated and reintroduced into society. 80% of the population is Inuit, and criminals were not ostracized because they needed all the help they could get when it came to hunting and fishing in order to survive this cruel climate. Although some of the public disagrees with the open prison system, and plans for a combined open and closed system are underway and should be completed by 2013, a recidivism rate of less than 1% suggests the arrangement may actually have something to it.

8. Tihar Prisons – New Delhi, India

Once considered to be one of the worst prisons in Asia, Tihar received a complete overhaul in 1993, introducing meditation and breathing exercises to what is now a population of 12,000 inmates held within the facility’s walls. It barely feels like a prison once inside – flowerbeds, palm trees and vast green expanses of land make up Tihar, and prisoners are seen sitting in the sun, meditating for hours. Education is provided in skills such as cosmetology, carpentry and baking, and prisoners make products that are sold on the outside, including potato chips and paintings. Inmates enjoy games of cricket and Scrabble and are able to e-mail their family members. Because of a backlogged system, the majority of detainees have not yet been convicted of a crime and are currently waiting for arraignment. Meditation was introduced in the interest of helping those who have not yet been proven guilty deal with the stress of confinement and a life among convicted criminals, but has been extended to all members of the compound, who find it reduces anger and produces a feeling of calm. The population rises by 10% every winter, as Indians commit minor crimes in hopes of entering Tihar, where they can find a warm bed and a decent meal. With all the deep breathing and deep contemplation, relaxation of the inmates (and guards) is of utmost importance.

7. Pavon Prison – Fraijanes, Guatemala (at least until September 25th, 2006)

It was a joyous day for convicts in Pavon Prison when prison authorities decided to stop controlling the interior of the prison and simply focus on manning the exterior, leaving the prisoners to their own devices and laws. The Independent Republic of Pavon, as Guatemalans began to call it, was finally taken back by the Guatemalan government on September 25th, 2006. Before that, however, the prison was run completely by convicts, from those who made the rules to the lower members of the food chain who enforced them. Although life was hard for those who weren’t in the elite class, the higher-ups enjoyed private villas complete with Jacuzzis and home gyms. They also took pleasure in a prison disco and a prison video arcade, and a few inmates made up to $25,000 a month by charging other prisoners for plots of land on which to build houses, and through the production and distribution of illegal drugs. Since the Guatemalan authorities took back the prison in 2006, there are still shady goings-on, but inmates admit Pavon Prison now feels more like, well, a prison.

6. Otisville Correctional Facility – Orange County, NY

Prisons in America actually tend to be stricter than those in some other countries. Although they have no comparison to facilities like Camp 1391 in Israel, a compound Israeli authorities deny even the existence of and which has been dubbed the “Israeli Guantanamo,” they’re certainly not as lax as the Greenland or Bolivian prisons we’ve looked at thus far. However, if you’re going to commit a crime in the U.S., you better hope your time is spent in a place like Otisville, a medium-security facility that Forbes magazine listed as one of America’s “cushiest” prisons in 2009. Otisville boasts a high Orthodox Jewish population, and although not exclusively for Jewish convicts, it was created in response to Orthodox Jews claiming that imprisonment violated their first amendment rights by being unable to accommodate their religious lifestyle. A kosher kitchen and weekly Shabbat services are among the amenities prisoners enjoy, and each year a traditional inmate-run Seder is presented on white tablecloths in the prison cafeteria. On top of the religious advantages, prisoners have use of an extensive library, a green room where they can tend to plants and vegetables, and multiple classrooms boasting a large array of courses. Bernie Madoff, the former stockbroker convicted of running the largest Ponzi scheme in history, reportedly requested to be imprisoned in Otisville, but was denied in 2009.

5. Federal Prison Camp Pensacola – Pensacola, FL

A Federal Prison Camp, or FPC, is a minimum-security prison that usually hosts prisoners who have committed white-collar crimes. In the past, inmates were allowed in the community during the day to work and were only locked up at night, and enjoyed amenities such as golf courses and cookouts. Although times have changed, most FPCs still have little or no barriers, meaning inmates could simply walk out if they so choose, but most don’t because of strict punishments imposed on those who do. At the FPC Pensacola, prisoners are allowed to leave for day jobs on the nearby Pensacola Navy base and have a large variety of recreational activities. Pensacola also hosts its own airport, making it very easy for friends and family members to visit on a whim. Prisoners can spend time with their families on weekends in a lush park filled with trees.

4. Aranjuez Prison – Aranjuez, Spain

Aranjuez is one of the only, if not the only, prisons in the world with cells available for families. The family cells, considered “5-Star” by the inmates, are large, with cribs and Disney characters adorning the walls. Children are allowed to stay with their parents until age three, and prisoners can work at the prison supermarket and take educational courses. Family cells were created to help the children bond with the parents in an environment that didn’t feel like a prison. Inmates are also treated to parenting classes, and children play outside in the compound and attend nursery school. Many people disagree whether prison is the ideal place for a child to spend their first few formative years, but Spanish authorities insist keeping families together and encouraging parental-child bonding is worth it and increases an inmate’s chances of rehabilitation.

3. BastØy Prison – BastØy, Norway

BastØy Prison is located on a small island that may remind some of a resort getaway. There are no fences or watchtowers, and prisoners reside in small wooden cottages. The cottages host four men each, and are designed so that inmates have a social life in order to ready them for their return to society. Prisoners farm or tend to livestock during the day and are allowed to enjoy leisure activities such as horseback riding and swimming once their work is done. The men are taught to cook their own food and do their own laundry, skills which authorities say will only help them once they are independent on the outside. The guards don’t use handcuffs and there are no bars on the windows and no locked doors. The warden of BastØy boasts that no inmates have ever attempted escape, and there has never been a murder or suicide, either. With a recidivism rate of less than 16%, this relaxed atmosphere has proven to be a success.

2. Halden Prison – Halden, Norway

Halden Prison is Norway’s newest correctional facility, complete with amenities such as jogging trails, a rock-climbing wall and a spacious library. There is also a music studio where prisoners can create their own melodies, and over $1 million worth of art on the walls for their viewing pleasure. Inmates live in their own private cells, which host personal bathrooms and have no bars on the walls. The compound has a two-bedroom house where convicts can enjoy overnight stays with their families, and there is a school which inmates attend in order to learn skills and possibly earn a degree so they are better suited for life on the outside. As you probably noticed from the last entry, Norway is big on rehabilitation and is a lot less concerned that prisons be punitive in nature. Prison guards don’t carry guns, and many eat and play sports with the inmates. Norwegian authorities say this fosters trust between guards and inmates and discourages violence. Half of all the prison guards are female, which authorities believe helps to lower aggression among the men.

1. Justizzentrum Leoben – Styria, Austria

Justizzentrum Leoben is a minimum security prison in Austria. Inmates in Justizzentrum have committed a range of crimes, from misdemeanors to felonies, and there are also prisoners who are still awaiting trial. These inmates, however, are housed separately from those which have already been convicted. The convicts live in one person cells with private bathrooms, and 15 men share a common living space with a living room and kitchen. The men are allowed to wear their own clothes, as normalcy is the desired effect Austrian authorities were going for. They figure that the more the prison is like the outside, the less of a chance prisoners face of being institutionalized, and this helps them to have an easier time adjusting their behavior to society. For recreation, inmates have access to two fitness rooms, a library, a walking yard and a multi-faith chapel. Inmates can also relax in their cells, which are open to the communal rooms at all times, and watch their own personal televisions.

10. Female Tattooing

Paraguay and Brazil

In Paraguay and Brazil it is common for young girls who reach the age of puberty and have their first menstrual cycle to undergo tattooing. This is considered to be sexually attractive and not a form of pain. The girl is gouged with fish bone on the back, breast and stomach and then ashes are rubbed in the wounds to create a permanent tattoo. Although somewhat odd, this is the least painful and unusual of the rites of passage found around the word.

9. Filing down the upper canines

Bali Indonesia

In Bali it is a tradition to file the upper canines even with the upper incisors. The Bali people believe this ritual helps to remove any forces of evil around the person as they believe the teeth to be symbols of jealousy, lust, greed, anger, confusion and insobriety. They believe that filing the teeth takes the evil traits away and makes the person more beautiful while at the same time ushering them into adulthood. The tooth filing ceremony is conducted by the Brahmin or priest whenever possible and is conducted under very stringent conditions, including the time of the ceremony, the tools used and even the person who is undergoing the ritual being kept isolated the day before the ceremony. The adolescents who have their teeth filed are well aware of the significance of the ceremony and refuse to cry out. This unusual rite makes the tooth fairy seem like an angel.

8.  Boys Drink Sperm to Become Men

Papau New Guinea – Etoro Tribe

Unbeknownst to many people there are many tribes and cultures around the world that practice homosexuality ritualistically. Such is the case of the Etoro Tribe of Papau New Guinea. This tribe believes that the power of the man, his vital force, is found in his semen. This tribe teaches and believes that young boy must ingest the semen of the older tribe members in order to become adults. This literally translates into a homosexual relationship between the boy and his mentor for several years at which point the boy becomes a man he becomes mentor to a younger boy, passing on the life force. The Etoro tribe also believes that if a woman does not become pregnant she has wasted the life force and is considered to be of lower caste.

7. Circumcisions

Circumcision in many countries occurs shortly after birth; however, in some countries it is considered a coming of age rite that marks the young person’s movement from adolescence into adulthood. The ceremony is held for both young boys and girls who are judged to be ready for the rite. Although male circumcision is considered normal around the world, female circumcision or clitoridectomy is not the norm around the world some people consider cutting a female’s genitals to be inhumane and atrocious. Despite the controversy the circumcision of both boys and girls continues in many tribes around the world. However, female circumcision is becoming an option rather than an expectation in some tribes. Despite being an option many young girls choose to undergo this ritual to follow in the paths of her ancestors.

6. Physical Beatings

Menses Rite of the Uaupes of Brazil

When a girl reaches puberty and her menstrual cycle starts it is her step forward into womanhood. In many countries it is celebrated over a period of days and often involves physical beatings. In the Uaupes people of Brazil the ritual of the menses includes house seclusion of the girl for one month with only bread and water. Once the seclusion is complete the girl is brought out naked and beat with sticks by family and friends until she is either dead or blacks out. Once the girl wakes up, if she does, the beating is repeated four times. After the fourth beating the sticks used to beat her with are dipped into pots of fat and given to the girl to lick for nourishment. She is now considered a woman and worthy of marriage.

5.  Shaving and Scarring Boys Heads

Barabaig Culture of East Africa

Among the many different cultures of the world that have rites of passage for young men transitioning to adulthood are the Barabaig cattle herding tribe of East Africa. These people believe that shaving the boy’s heads and cutting them down to the bone from ear to ear in three deep horizontal cuts would make them into men. The resulting scar, called a ‘gar’, is a symbol of manhood and the boys who have it wear it with pride.

4.  Lying on Ant Beds

Luiseno Indians

In the Luiseno Indian tribe young boys undergo a painful rite of passage but are not allowed to show their pain. Several painful ceremonial acts are required before the boy is recognized as a man by his tribe. The first of these is lying on a mound of ants for a period of time. The boy is not allowed to cry out or grimace in pain as his body is continually bitten by the ants. In a separate part of the ceremony boys are given tolocahe, a hallucinogenic drug that is supposed to help them see visions and become a man, if it didn’t kill them first.

3. Male Birth Control Ritual

Australian AboriginesM

As if circumcision as an adolescent boy were not enough of a rite of passage, the Australian Aboriginal tribe takes the adolescent male and makes it possible for him to propagate but only when it is a special occasion. This is done by piercing a hole through the boy’s penis near the base. After the hole is made, a piece of splinter is inserted in the hole to keep it from growing back together. Once this hole is made, the only way that sperm can travel the proper channel is to plug the hole with a finger, which obviously makes it hard to procreate often as it requires assistance or at least a helping hand. During this rite of passage the young man lies with a stick between his teeth, uttering not a word.

2. Infibulation

Considered by many modern cultures to be one of the most horrific rites of passage in the world, female infibulations, the surgical closure of the labia major to seal the vagina, is practiced still in many cultures around the world. The cultures that practice this either do so to render the woman unable to have sexual intercourse ever or they are insuring that the woman’s future husband gets a virgin. Regardless of why it is done, it is a painful process that leaves barely a hole for the menses to escape through. Modern doctors have fought against this practice in other cultures due to the damage it can do to the female’s organs and the fact that it can cause urinary incontinence.

1.  Drunken Stupor

With all the horrific acts being done to young people crossing over to adulthood it is good to look at lighter side of becoming adult that is the case in many other cultures. In many countries around the world a large majority of adolescents who reach adulthood spend their day of legal age imbibing in as many vices as they can legally do in order to show the world they are now adults. It might not be circumcision or a bed of ants, but the ensuing headache is usually one for the record books.

From tattoos to circumcision to drunken stupors rites of passage are common around the world. In some cultures these ceremonies or acts are little more than a fun time with friends and families meant to celebrate the legal coming of age; in other cultures the rites are serious and painful and meant to show the person has attained the maturity level to be an adult and handle the responsibilities that go with being an adult. In all cultures there is an unseen gap that one crosses from a child to an adult that is a time of great pride for the person crossing over.

10. Glider Rocker

There’s something special about snuggling baby up against your chest while rocking them to sleep and a glider rocker makes the experience that much sweeter. Both mother and baby will enjoy the soft glide of the rocking chair on those nights when sleep just doesn’t want to come. A few minutes with a lullaby and gentle gliding back forth while in mother’s arms is often all that is needed to make the little one’s eyes heavy with sleep. Moms will also enjoy taking a much needed coffee break and relaxing in their rocker while baby sleeps. Dads shouldn’t feel left out, they can take their turn in the rocker with baby while mom gets some much needed sleep.

9. Combo Travel Set

Everyone knows you have to have a car seat in order to take a baby home from the hospital. However, having a combo travel set makes it much nicer to take the little one shopping, to the park or simply around town running errands. Combination travel sets are typically a stroller with a car seat that can attach to the stroller while the baby is little then be used as a toddler seat as they grow. Combo travel sets can be found in a variety of style with many different options, from a bassinet type seat in the stroller that transforms to a sitting position to ones that have extra sturdy wheels for joggers. The combo travel set with stroller and car seat is a gift that will be used for several years and is loved by mother and baby.

8. Adjustable Crib to Toddler Bed

Babies need a place to sleep and it might as well be a bed that grows with them. Adjustable cribs take baby from newborn to toddler with little more effort than removing the rails and lowering the mattress. These beds can usually be set up high for the months when baby is new and there is no danger of them pulling up and getting out. The raised mattress makes it easier for mom to reach the baby without bending over into the crib. These cribs also take away the fear out of moving to a toddler bed that many little tykes encounter and they save money for the parents. Adjustable crib- to-toddler beds are available in many styles and colors and can help mothers transform their nursery into a toddler room with ease when the time comes.

7. Travel Play Yard

Going to visit grandma can be a hassle, especially since grandma doesn’t usually have a crib of her own for the baby. A travel play yard solves the problem and makes it easy to take baby anywhere without worrying about where they will sleep. The travel play yard is great for letting baby sit and play as they begin to gain movement without worrying about them falling or hurting themselves. These play yards fold up for easy carrying. Grandpa will be relieved he doesn’t have to move his socks out of the dresser drawer to make room for the baby.

6. Wipe Warmer

While it’s not considered a necessity, it is definitely considered a must have by many mothers. The wipe warmer helps extend the life of wet wipes by keeping the moisture inside. The added warmth is a bonus when cleaning baby’s bottom in the middle of the night and the air is chilled. Some people might consider warmed baby wipes extravagant, but for anyone who has changed a diaper in the middle of the night and found that the cold wipe caused them to be soaked from a sudden spray from baby the warm wipe is a welcome change.

5. Bath Set

Babies might not get as dirty as toddlers and adults but every mother and father wants to give their new baby a bath. Anyone who has ever tried giving a baby a bath in a full size bath tub knows how hard it is and the kitchen sink is not much better. A baby bath set is the perfect tool for giving little ones a bath. They come with a bath tub that has an incline so that baby doesn’t have to lie down flat in the water. They also come with a body sponge so the newborn baby isn’t fully submerged but can still take a bath. Bath time should be a fun time for parents and little ones and a baby bath set will help make it that way.

4. Baby Monitor

Technology hasn’t forsaken the baby. Every mother wants to make sure her child is safe and secure all day and night. Every mother also wants to be able to sleep in their own bed. The baby monitor has made it possible to do both. These monitors are available in both audio only or audio and video types. Parents can keep an eye and an ear out on their baby during the night and be by their side in a jiffy if they are needed. These are also a good idea for toddlers who might get out of bed during the night. Baby monitors are much appreciated by dads who want to get some quiet time without the baby or toddler in the room and mom is too nervous to leave them alone. Installing a baby monitor solves the problem and everyone is happy.

3. Web Cam

Another technological tool that many parents are opting to include on their baby wish list. Many parents have to return to work rather than stay home with their child. The webcam makes it possible to keep an eye on the babysitter who is taking care of the little one during the day. Webcams let mom and dad see their little one even when they can’t be in the room. There are various options available for web cams; including those that can be hidden so the sitter doesn’t know they are being watched.

2. Baby Sling or Pouch

Ask any new mother what she misses most and you are bound to hear “two hands”. It is practically impossible to have both hands free at the same time when there is a baby involved. The baby sling or front pouch carrier eases this problem. Baby is snug up against mommy, or daddy’s, heart while they do whatever it is they need to do with both hands. Shopping, talking on the phone or simply gathering the laundry is easier when baby is close to you but not occupying both hands at one time. It works for kangaroo’s and now it works for moms and dads too.

1. The Pacifier

No matter how many expensive, adorable gifts a new mother receives, the one she will be the most thankful for on more than one occasion is the pacifier. This amazing little device is not like by all babies but those who do depend on it. Babies have a natural desire to suckle and not always from hunger. Many years ago some poor tired mother discovered that a bottle nipple without a hole in it would help calm baby down and thus the beginning of the pacifier. While it is true that parent’s sometimes have a hard time taking the pacifier, otherwise called a binky or any number of other odd names, it is a godsend when it is first used. Most mothers keep several on hand and don’t dare leave home without them.

Buying and giving baby gifts to the new mother is almost as fun as getting them. There are so many different things on the market that are targeted directly at babies and new mothers that it is hard to pick which one is the best. Ultimately, if it makes the mother’s life easier it is going to be on her list of must have items and she will find a way to get what she thinks her baby needs.

Homosexual orientation also thrives in the animal kingdom. Scientists have observed homosexual behavior among more than 1,500 species of animals including great apes, monkeys and in the common species of marine birds. Among the penguins, acute homosexual instincts have been noticed. This symptom has also been noticed among rams and the Australian shepherds term the rams with only male inclination as ‘shy breeders.’

There is a wide range of facts related to homosexuality. These facts feature the reasons and other details of homosexuality. Here, we bring you top 10 most fascinating facts on homosexuality.

10. Efforts to change sexual orientation are ineffective and can prove to be harmful

It is scientifically an established fact that an effort to cure homosexuality is a social prejudice draped in psychological outfit. There is no existence of scientific evidence to highlight the effectiveness of any therapeutic measures to cure homosexuality because sexual orientation is not a disease. Indulging to cure homosexuality is similar of trying to cure possession of red colored or brown colored hair. You can cover up the red color of hair with a dye just as any homosexual person would try to cover up the natural instincts and become a straight sexual orientation.

Sexual orientation does not need treatment to be cured, like that of the diseases. A homosexual person does not need to be cured of being gay any longer resembling that of a heterosexual person. The American Psychological Association states that gays and bisexual people are not mentally ill in tune of their sexual orientation and do not need any treatment for their sexual orientation. There are serious perils of forcefully undertaking attempts to treat or cure homosexuality. They are likely to induce excessive anxiety, depression and self-destructive behavior. A large number of medical professions in US staunchly state that they are absolutely against the usage of therapies of changing sexual orientation of gay people. They are observed quoting “There is no scientific evidence that reparative or conversion therapy is effective in changing a person’s sexual orientation”.

9. A man’s chances of being gay increases with the increasing number of elder brothers he has

The results of research and development conclude that more the number of elder brothers a man has, the chances of him being a gay is more profound. Thus, a man having five elder brothers has four times more chances of being gay than a man having one elder brother. The aunts and mothers of gay men have less number of female relatives of heterosexuals than off springs.

Our society experiences huge percentage of boys and young men who follow girl like instincts. In certain young men girl-like instincts prevail, they engage themselves in playing with dolls at a very young age. They even prefer dressing up like girls. These similar instincts find their way among young girls who prefer trucks to Barbies. An extensive survey has revealed that there are certain factors that happen to be significant causes for people developing homosexual feelings.

A survey stated that 97% of problems in father son relationship flare up as they develop SSA (Same Sex Attraction), this happens to be a significant factor. In the next place, the SSA symptom also leads to conflict with male peers. The other major cause is that on undergoing sexual abuse as a child or as a youth by an older or a more powerful person, a person develops improper sexual orientation. In such cases, such activities are undertaken by men and the victims develop SSA. Furthermore, odd sexual experiences also play a role. Other sexual experiences like pornography, sex plays with other boys and sexual fantasy as a youth or a child have resulted in these people developing SSA feelings. Moreover, a large number of people say that personality traits are a vital contributing factor in people developing SSA feelings. Lastly smothering mother syndrome and the relationship of the son with the mother also contributes to the development of SSA among people.

8. Homosexuality and same-sex couplings have been honored in ancient India and Greece

This is revealed from the evidences of homosexuality from the ancient times found in the cave paintings featuring same sex couplings in India and Greece. The Kama Sutra, an ancient Hindu text dealing with various desires depicts sex as one of the four normative goals of life. Kama Sutra is a sex manual but deals with homosexual pieces and practices in various places and tells us about third sex citizens in ancient times who were greatly attached to one another having heartfelt feelings for one another and were also getting married. Another commentary of twelfth century states that men with inclination to other men often renounced women and married men bounded by a deep and trusting friendship. Furthermore, sculptures and paintings from ancient temples and caves in India show that homosexual fellatio was performed by men as well as women. In addition to this, documents of ancient Greece reveal that it was usual for men to maintain sexual relationships with both young men and women. One of the central plots of Homer’s masterpiece The Iliad is about love between two men.

7. The sexual orientation of homosexuals is self-discovered and begins from early adulthood

Homosexual members discover their sexual orientation and they are not recruited or driven into the so-called ‘gay lifestyle.’ Lesbian and gay children are frequently aware of being different from  early on in life. They usually attain awareness of their sexual orientation during early adulthood or during the adolescence period.

6. Unlike heterosexual women, lesbians’ Index finger is shorter, on average, than the Ring finger

The heterosexual women have the ring fingers and index fingers of the same length whereas the heterosexual men have their ring finger longer than the index finger. However, in an average the finger lengths of the lesbians resemble more like that of men. The same concept is also applicable for other traits like that of the functioning of the inner ear and the patterns of eye blinking. This is actually one of the various differences of the sexes that are set before birth depending upon the exposure of testosterone.

5. The hypothalamus of homosexual men are different from that of heterosexual men

It has also been revealed by various scientists that the characteristics that frame out minds as males or females was localized and incubated at a small part of the brain known as the hypothalamus. Autopsies have shown that the relative configuration and size of this master gland is different in males from females. A more extensive research indicates that the hypothalamus of homosexual men were different from that of heterosexual men.

4. Genetically, homosexual men are exactly the same as heterosexual men

The teachings of embryology state that all the early embryos start out as female. At some point of time during the early gestation only if the chromosomes destine the fetus to be male then that female embryo undergoes alterations by the genetically programmed addition of certain hormones termed as androgens. These various androgens especially the testosterone provides instructions to the embryo to mould and develop into male.

The “XX” pair of chromosome yields a female whereas an “XY” pair results in yielding a male. Usually the “X” is contributed by the mother as she has only the “X’s. However, the father can always contribute either an “X” or a “Y”. Thus, the genetic contribution of the father determines the gender of the child and not the mother. Homosexual men possess “XY” pairs of chromosomes that have typically male characteristics in all respects.

3. Stress in the early stages of pregnancy can result in homosexual child

Research indicate that if the mother is being stressed in the times of the early stages of pregnancy she is likely to release adrenalin related hormone into the bloodstream of her own as well as that of her unborn baby. This hormone is termed as androstendione and it features structural similarity with that the male hormone testosterone. The baby on possessing the “XY” chromosomes is eventually destined to become male but the testosterone needs to be more active during the formation of the central nervous system including the hypothalamus. However, the stress hormone inclines to bind the receptors that would usually receive testosterone and the effectiveness of the testosterone undergoes delay or blockage in spite of being plentiful.

It is thought that while the organs and the body become ‘males’ the brain can coincidentally develop along the lines of being ‘female’. This extreme reaction to maternal stress provides a very natural and logical purpose. Comprehending through sensing the stress of the population on being influenced by poor living conditions or of crowding, nature serves this hormonal mechanism as a means to check population growth eventually cutting short the cause of stress. However homosexual instincts results less than heterosexuality among off springs. Thus, homosexuality is absolutely a physical disorder pertaining to the formation of the nervous system.

2. Native Americans hold homosexual people in high esteem

In traditional Native American society, homosexual people are held in high esteem as they are thought to have received a special blessing. They were frequently crowned to the position of ‘Shamans’ or healers of the community for being specially blessed. They were also respected as ‘Berdache’ or ‘two spirited persons.

1. Gay couples are financially richer than straight couples

Surveys provide evidences that gay couples are financially richer straight couples. An online survey of 6,300 self recognized gays respondents, sponsored by OpusComm Group in association with the Syracuse University has found out that the median combined per anum household income of the gay couples is $65,000. This surprisingly happens to be higher than the usual household income.

A detailed survey also proves that lesbians and gay men render service in a diverse variety of careers. They mostly take up careers in the field of medicine and education. Nearly, 8% of gay men and 15% of lesbians are engaged in this field. In the educational avenues, 6% gay men and 9% lesbians are associated whereas 7% of the lesbians are engaged in the governmental and the legal sector. In the sector of accounting and finance, 6% of gay men are associated.

A  survey reveals that the median household income of gay men is $83,000 per year. The gays living together earn $130,000 and gay singles earn $62,000. The lesbians have their median household income of $80,000 per year, with the lesbian singles earning $52,000 and the lesbian couples earning $96,000. Nearly 40% of gay men reported annual household incomes in excess of $100,000 and 36% of lesbians reported annual household incomes in excess of $100,000.

The fact that homosexuality is neither a physical disease nor an ailment and that it should not be mistaken as ailments is being accepted by the modern society. Extensive researches and studies about sexual health have vividly proved this. One must be aware about the fact that homosexuality is not a mental or emotional disorder and attempts to cure it may result in the life of the person being jeopardized. Homosexuality is nothing to be ashamed of and should be accepted the way it exists.

On the one hand, you have people who believe that marriage should only be defined as being between a man and a woman. Often, these people support the idea of same sex partnerships or legal civil unions, suggesting that the term “marriage” be specifically reserved for an arrangement between one man and one woman. On the other hand, you have people who argue for marriage rights for all: that people be allowed to marry, even if it is two men or two women.

Yet, for all of the attention the issue has received, there seems to be little effort on each side of the argument to understand each others’ arguments and have an honest dialogue. Further complicating the matter is the fact that the issue seems to be tied into other political causes. To really grasp the arguments for same sex marriage, you need to be able to break away the ancillary concerns and the hype, and get down to the real basis for the argument. When you do, you’ll find that there are some rather compelling reasons for same sex marriage, even for those who are not directly impacted by the issue.

10. Equal Rights

The most common argument for same-sex marriage suggests that marriage is a right that should be enjoyed by any two consenting adults. The right to marry someone you love, and the right to make a commitment to that person is fundamental. In this way, the argument for same sex marriage echoes the civil rights argument from generations past. Proponents suggest that denying same sex couples the right to marry is akin to denying minorities or women the right to vote. Same sex partnerships or civil unions are not the same, and bring to mind the days of racial segregation when African Americans were forced to drink at a separate drinking fountain or sit in a special section of a restaurant. Refusing the right of same sex couples to marry is the same as refusing Hispanics or African Americans the right to marry.

9. Financial concerns

Same sex couples want to marry for the same sorts of reasons that men and women want to marry. One of those reasons is the financial security that comes with being marriage. Married couples enjoy specific financial benefits under the law, such as different tax rules, Social Security benefits, Medicare benefits, and the inheritance of property. In addition, there are issues like joint ownership that are not normally available to same sex couples that are currently only available to married couples. Some of these concerns can be address at an additional expense and through private legal means, but some of them can only be addressed through marriage. Some companies, recognizing that this is a serious issue for their employees, have already begun extending certain types of benefits to same sex couples, even though they aren’t legally married.

8. Legal concerns

Marriage doesn’t just provide benefits to the partners in a financial way. There are other specific legal matters that marriage provides benefits for. One of these is the issue of medical care. If one member of a same sex couple becomes ill, the other person may not even be allowed visitation rights because the law doesn’t consider them a spouse or family member. In addition, in the absence of a personal directive or living will, the partners may not be able to speak on behalf of one another when the other is incapacitated. Same sex couples should enjoy the same rights in this regard as heterosexual couples.

7. Marriage is about love

The fact of the matter is that most couples, whether they are a same sex couple or not, don’t get married for legal concerns. They don’t get married to get a tax benefit. They get married because they want to express their love and commitment to the other person. Marriage is a way for a person to say to their partner, “I love you so much that I want to be with you for the rest of my life. Through better or worse, for rich or for poor, in sickness and in health, I want to be with you.” Denying a couple the ability to express their love in this way is denying them the ultimate form of expression. A civil union doesn’t carry the same kind of social weight as marriage in this regard, and this is one of the main reason that many same sex couples don’t want to settle for a simple civil union. Same sex couples are capable of and deserving of the same love that heterosexual couples are.

6. Marriage encourages commitment

One of the most compelling arguments for same sex marriage is the idea that allowing same sex couples to marry actually strengthens the institution of marriage, rather than weakening it. Same sex couples who want to marry are looking for the same kinds of benefits that other couples are. They want, among other things, to be in a relationship of commitment. They want to express not only their love, but their monogamy and their dedication to one another. Just as marriage helps to reduce sexual promiscuity among heterosexual couples, so this kind of ultimate commitment helps to do the same for same sex couples. Just like marriage among heterosexual couples can help to curb a high-risk lifestyle, the same holds true for same sex couples. Allowing same sex marriage, then, helps to strengthen society and encourage monogamy, which is something that opponents of same sex marriage claim to support.

5. Marriage is an issue of religious freedom

The reality of things today is that marriage is a religious institution with specific civil consequences. Because both the religious world and the legal world are intertwined, there can be some rough waters to navigate here. The moment you begin to deny marriage to one couple, any couple is now at risk. While today it is only same sex couples that can’t marry, this line of reasoning suggests that one day only Protestant couples could be allowed to marry (or Muslim couples, or any particular religious permutation). In the same way that other religious have directly influenced the way that marriage came to be and what it came to mean to society, so same sex couples should have the right to marry and live in line with their own personal religious convictions. There are even religious institutions that specifically recognize same sex marriage, and that will perform private religious ceremonies to unite a same sex couple. Unfortunately, these ceremonies only carry a religious weight, and not a legal one.

4. Homosexuality is a legal and accepted lifestyle,

and is likely caused biologically. Homosexuality was once considered a type of deviant behavior, engaged in only by moral reprobates. Research today suggests that homosexuality is not caused by reprobate behavior, but instead has a biological cause. This research suggests that sexuality is determined by a hormonal process, and that people don’t “choose” to be gay any more than straight people “choose” to be straight. Because homosexuality isn’t illegal and because it isn’t a choice, there is no reason that same sex couples should be denied access to the institution of marriage. Here again, discriminating against same sex couples becomes an issue of discriminating based on a physical characteristic – how their hormones fire – rather than on an ideological or behavioral basis.

3. Same sex marriage would increase the number of adoptions

Because same sex couples can’t procreate, allowing same sex marriage the same status as heterosexual marriage would help to address the adoption crisis. There are many children in need of adoption, and same sex couples can provide a stable and loving home for these children. While opponents may argue that children growing up in a same sex household will be adversely affected, there is no research to date that fully supports this theory. There is no reason to think that a child that grows up in a same sex household will be any worse or better off than a child that grows up in a traditional household with a man and a woman.

2. Same sex marriage does not hurt anyone

Marriage has always been, and remains to this day, a relationship between two parties. The two parties involved in marriage are the ones affected by the marriage. As an institution, marriage has a place in society. However, which two specific people marry doesn’t have an effect on the greater scale of things. Society isn’t hurt in the process of two people choosing to marry. In fact, there is a case to be made that marriage, as an institution, would be strengthened by allowing same sex marriage. More couples would be allowed to marry, and the institution would continue to be maintained. Divorce and infidelity are threats to the institution of marriage; allowing same sex couples the right to marry is not a threat to the institution.

1. There is no slippery slope

Allowing same sex marriage doesn’t necessarily mean that the next step is to allow polygamy, or to allow deviant forms of sexual behavior. Allowing same sex marriage is simply the logical extension and natural evolution of the institution. Marriage has long been the ultimate way for a couple to express their love and commitment to one another, and to legally sanction their relationship. It exists, in part, to help foster family values and to provide security and financial stability to those couples. Allowing same sex marriage doesn’t redefine marriage as an institution, and it doesn’t open Pandora’s Box. It merely takes marriage as it has been throughout the ages and recognizes the right of same sex couples to reap the benefits the way that heterosexual couples can.

It isn’t likely that this issue will be resolved any time soon. Because homosexuals are in the minority, and because there are still so many social taboos surrounding the issue, it has been an uphill battle. Many heterosexual people have little understanding, or interest, in the issue of same sex marriage. And, while many of them may believe that same sex marriage should be allowed, very few believe in the cause enough to make it a priority. So, the gay community is left with a relatively small number of supporters.

However, as the issue comes more and more to the fore, voices that support same sex marriage are being heard. Courts across the land are ruling in favor of same sex marriage rights. And while there are advances, there are also setbacks. Some states continue to pass or to try to pass amendments to their state constitutions that define marriage as being between a man and a woman. The battle rages on in a state by state basis, as there are no federal statutes that define marriage in a specific way. Many advocates of same sex marriage believe that the ultimate solution to the issue has to be at the federal level. Unfortunately, the Supreme Court tends to rule against same sex marriage rights, and the issue is such a hot button that few legislators are willing to take up the cause.

Still, the tide does seem to be turning. Most social analysts and experts expect that, within a few decades, the right to marry will be extended to same sex couples in the same way that it is enjoyed by heterosexual couples. Time will tell the tale, of course. In the meanwhile, many states find themselves in the situation where they are trying to define marriage for themselves, and to determine whether or not the state can sanction a marriage that isn’t between one man and one woman.

The bottom line is, there are times when you need to argue, to get your point across, be heard and have your say, and knowing how to argue effectively can mean the difference between a useful, informative exchange, which leads to a resolution, and an undignified screaming match.

The art of effective arguing is a skill learnt over time, and, all too often, it’s something we have to learn the hard way. You don’t learn it at home, or at school, and you’ll need to practice every once in a while, in order to master the skill.

In the mean time, you could fake it till you make it, with our top ten effective argument tactics that will help you perfect your arguing style:

1. Know Your Goal

As with everything in life, effective arguing requires a goal. If you don’t know what you want to get out of the argument, whether it is a raise at work, or more help around the house, you’ll end up arguing in circles, and never get anywhere. Before you even engage the person, or people, that you need to argue with, figure out exactly what the ideal resolution to your argument is, and start from there.

If you aren’t one hundred percent sure of your goal, you will be more likely to venture off the track, be drawn into petty fights, or settle for less than you’re willing to. Stick to the facts, keep your eye on the prize, and don’t allow yourself to be drawn off topic.

2. Get Your Ducks in a Row

Make sure you know your facts. If you’re arguing for a raise, for example, gather proof that you are going above and beyond the call of duty, and are an asset to the company.

When gathering evidence, or information that you will use in your argument, be as specific as possible. For example, in the above mentioned scenario, mention that you put in an average of five hours of overtime per week. Sounds a lot more convincing than “I work overtime a lot.” Facts and figures are the cornerstone of your argument, so have them ready for when you need them!

Take some time to sit down, and figure out exactly what it is that supports your argument best. If necessary, get documented proof, for instance, if you’re arguing with your spouse about chores around the house, take photos of their wet towel lying on the floor. Make sure there’s a date stamp, and take a picture every time you have to pick that towel up. That way, when you argue with them, and they deny everything, you will have proof to back up your argument.

If your argument is valid, there must be some proof, so make sure you have it in your arsenal.

3. Write a Script

When we say script, not word for word, but prepare your argument on paper. Figure out what you are going to say, what evidence you are going to use, and how you are going to raise the issue that will lead you to your goal.
Knowing what you are going to say before you go into an argument can help you stick to the facts, and reach a satisfactory resolution quicker and easier than just throwing random information out there, in the hopes that something will work!

Jot down your ideas, then take it a step further, and jot down possible responses to your arguments. Think of all the possible rebuttals you could hear, and come up with valid, concrete answers for them. If it helps, you could even practice your script or argument with a friend, or even in front of the mirror, to give yourself a “dry run” before the big event!

4. Speak Your Mind

You might be someone who avoids conflict. Someone who would like to say something, but who keeps it all bottled up inside. Of course, there are two possible outcomes for that: one, you keep it in for good, quietly seething to yourself, becoming resentful and angry. The second possibility is that you can’t keep it in, and you lose it one day, screaming, shouting, quitting your job, or similarly catastrophic results.

Since neither of those results in you getting what you want, they should not be options. Choose to argue smart, make your preparations, and get what you want. The whole point of an argument, regardless of the cause, or goal of the argument, is to convince the other party that your point of view is correct. Failing that, to reach an amicable compromise.

If you feel strongly enough about anything, eventually you are going to have to speak your mind, just make sure that you state your case as eloquently and succinctly as possible, while still raising all the points you believe are relevant, and presenting the evidence you feel should be considered.

5. Listen

While we’re always sure that we have the only valid point of view, there may be valid points from the opposing side as well as yours. Take care to listen and consider their views, rather than single mindedly refusing to accept the possibility that someone else’s opinion may also have merit.

Listening to others is also just plain good manners, and since you’re arguing because you want something, you’d be well served to maintain politeness, and show your opponent you value their input. After all, as the saying goes – do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

If you’re not prepared to listen, or to compromise, or consider other opinions, what you’re aiming for is not an argument. It’s a dictatorship. You have to consider the views of others on their merit, in order to achieve your goals, so force yourself to pay attention. You might even find that they suggest a better resolution than you hoped for, or even thought of!

6. Respond to Valid Points

If the person you are arguing with raises valid points, you need to address them logically. This is where the preparation pays off. If you’ve gathered your information correctly, and your thinking is sound, you should have an argument that is up to the challenge. If, however, the points they have raised make sense to you, you may need to rethink your goal, or at least be willing to negotiate.

Remember, if you don’t have a suitable response, you may not have thought through your argument enough. If you find yourself at a loss to explain your position, you may want to draw back, rethink your position, and try again another day.

7. Stay Calm

Raised voices, insults and accusations are the fastest ways to take a potentially valuable argument from useful to embarrassing or even allow it to morph into an undignified brawl.

Make sure that you keep your tone of voice, and body language respectful, and never use foul language or threatening gestures to try and make a point. In fact, if you are angry or upset, rather avoid the argument, and make an appointment to discuss the matter later.

Often, you will find that people will try to draw you in to a fight to distract you from the main point. If you remain calm, focus on the goal, and refuse to be baited, eventually, they will have to discuss the matter with you rationally.

If you’ve ever watched a court room drama, you’ll know that lawyers rarely ever get emotional in court. That’s exactly what you want to aim for – calm, detached presentation of the facts, followed by debate, negotiation, and eventually, hopefully, a resolution you can both live with.

8. Use “I” Statements

When arguing, try to use statements like “I feel” or “I’ve noticed” to describe your feelings or events. Nothing gets people’s back up as quickly as being accused of something, and using any sentence that starts with “You always…” is guaranteed to do just that.

If you concentrate on always starting your sentences with I, you should make it clear that this is about your feelings, rather than with something they have done, or failed to do. Consider the difference between the statements “I feel I am worth more to the company” and “You don’t pay me enough.” Notice how the first one just seems more respectful? That’s exactly what you’re going for.

Keep your observations to your own experience, and leave the assumptions out of the picture. Make sure you present your opinions, but do so in a way that respects your opponents right to their own. You’re aiming to find middle ground here – not make an enemy for life!

9. Watch Your Body Language

As we’ve mentioned before, body language, as much as words, can lead an argument quickly into a fight. Avoid crossing your arms, maintain a suitable distance, avoiding getting into your opponent’s personal space, and never use gestures such as finger pointing. Likewise, nothing is likely to infuriate your opponent as quickly as rolling your eyes, or an elaborate sigh.
Unless you’re looking for a fight, your body language, gestures and tone should be respectful at all times.

Then again, if you’re arguing for something, like a raise, you also want to present the image that you are confident that you are correct. Showing signs of nervousness, stress or anxiety, like wringing your hands, or playing with your hair, can betray that nervousness, and may lead to someone, like your boss, picking up on and using that nervousness to their advantage, with the result that you lose the argument.

Aim for impassive, relaxed body language. If you can, stand when you address someone who is seated, which puts you at a physical height advantage, and therefore a mental position of power. The more calm and logical you look, the more likely you are to achieve more in your argument. Keep your hands still, make eye contact, and avoid excessive displays of emotion.

10. Know Your Fall Back Position

When we argue, we always have an ideal in mind. A 20% raise, for example. However, we usually also have a minimum that we’re willing to accept. Maybe 10% would be satisfactory. For now. Perhaps you would be willing to consider something else instead? For example, if you are arguing with your spouse for more help around the house, maybe you’d be willing to consider hiring help?

Make sure you know, before you even start an argument, where your fallback position is. What the minimum you’re willing to settle for is. That way, even if you get a no on your ideal, you have some room to negotiate. Compromise is better than losing, isn’t it?

Then again, if your opponent won’t even raise their suggestions for resolution to meet your minimum requirement, you’re probably fighting a losing battle, and looking for other resolutions may be your best course of action. Once you know where you draw the line, you’ll know when to cut your losses, stop fighting a losing battle, and move on to more productive pursuits.

Of course, there’s always a chance, in any argument, that your opponent will throw you a complete curveball, suggest something you’d never considered, or raise an argument or rebuttal you’d never thought of. Be willing to consider any options, arguments or statements that your opponent may raise, and remember, just because you’ve started the argument, put the matter on the table, and raised the question, does not mean you need to finish it in one sitting.

If needs be, withdraw, schedule another appointment, rethink your argument, strategy and goal, and try again. After all, your goal is worth it, isn’t it? And as the saying goes – Rome wasn’t built in a day.